Battered
by Paige Louise Jordan
Summary: Being hunted, Blaire wanted and needed to get out and go somewhere. She's offered to go and relax in Milwaukee, but what was suppose to be a vacation only turned over more stones, causing a baby, and a Charles Lindbergh situation.
1. Saftey Net

Quantico; fake oasis  
>"Spencer Reid, you need to get this done with. Talk to her." Garcia said quietly. He looked around.<p>

"Man. I don't know. She...well..." Garcia smiled and gave him a gentle shove. "Go" she whispered.

Reid took a deep breath and walked out of Garcia's office and went down to where the scene of the accident was. He hopped into the FBI provided SUV and drove down to the corner coffee shop. He pulled up and got out of the car.

"Prentiss!" he yelled over the shouts and sirens.

Emily Prentiss turned around. "Spencer." she said running to him, embracing him in a hug. "You're okay," he whispered into her hair.

"I am. Blaire on the other hand, well, she doesn't look too good." she said, with attitude.

"Why do you always talk like this whenever I talk about Blaire?" He asked taking a step back. "She is my dead best friends little sister and I promised him in his last days. I'd take very good care of her. I cannot let her die. So don't act so jealous." he said, with force.

"How did you figure I'm jealous?" Emily asked, choking back a slight amount of tears.

"Emily," he said looking her in the eyes, "every since we were in that hostage situation; you have been so, unglued when I protect other women." he said. Reid gave her a nod and walked away.

I was lifted by two strong men onto a gurney. "Thank you gentlemen" I said politely. They both gave me a nod and began to wheel me to the ambulance. They were soon stopped by the shouts of Reid.

"Wait!" he yelled, "Blaire!" he yelled. I slowly turned my neck to his shouts.

"Reid!" I shouted back. He came up and looked me in the eyes.

"Are you okay?" he asked, studying my body. The mess of blood made it look like I was bleeding to death.

"Yeah, Reid. I'm good. I'm in some pain, but not a lot. I'll live." I said, smiling. Reid grabbed my hand.

"I'll see you at the hospital." he said squeezing my hand gently.

Reid slowly let go and backed away. I was wheeled into the ambulance and sped to the ER. Reid stood there for awhile, swallowing the good news. He eventually turned around.

"Emily. Why would you tell me she was in bad shape? She was just fine, besides some pain, " he said, confused. Emily looked at her feet. "That's what the paramedic told me." she said.

"Oh." Reid sighed. He walked back to his car and drove home for a bit. He parked the car out front and went into the abnormally clean bachelor pad. He laid his keys on the side table in the foyer and walked directly to the kitchen where he pulled out a bottle of beer and cracked it open. He watched the white vapor roll off of the opening. He guzzled a sip and walked to his bedroom, he set his beer next to a picture of him, me and my older brother (whom was also his best friend) Jamison. I didn't have any other family in the area. My grandparents died when I was young and my parents (both in the army) went MIA on a mission when I was 12. I'm now 18. Jamison died when I was 16. He was 10 years older than me. But now he is forever frozen at the age of 26. His fiancée, Lissette, was so sad, she committed suicide. But thankfully Reid helped me to find a stable family I could live with. He talks to me daily. Spencer cares for me and always makes sure I'm safe. I guess in Jamison's last days, Spencer promised him he would take care of me. Jamison's battle with brain cancer was a tough and fatal one and not only did it take a toll on me, but Spencer too. He is a strangely strong character.

That night, Spencer received a call from my doctor, telling him I was okay, and I was to be discharged at 6:30am tomorrow. I had my doctor call him first because I couldn't live with my foster parents anymore and I needed a place to stay and I knew I could count on Reid , for the time being. Reid said it was okay, and he'd pick me up in the morning. I went to sleep, knowing I had someone there for me. At 5:45am, the RN came into my room to wake me.

"Good morning! How are we this morning?" she asked delightfully.

I smiled. "I am very well. How are you?" I asked back.

She looked at me and placed a tray of breakfast food in front of me. "Awake!" she laughed.

I laughed back and buttered a piece of toast. I slowly ate for a bit and at 6, in walked Spencer.

"Hey bud," he said cheerfully.

I smiled and looked up from my belongings. "Hey Reid." he walked over and hugged me. "You gave me such a scare." he said, worry encased in his message.

"Yeah. I know. I'm sorry. I just didn't mean to do it." I said, sighing. Spencer let go of me.

"What do you mean?" he asked. "Didn't Emily tell you about what happened?" I asked.

He shook his head. "This lady. I couldn't see her face but she had a bomb and was threatening to kill me and everyone else there if I didn't stop talking to you. I pleaded with her to let everyone there to go. And she reluctantanly did. But she kept threatening me. So, I wrestled her down but she escaped and I almost made it out but the building went boom and I ended up here." I said, zipping my bag.

Spencer just stared at me.

"What?" I asked.

"Don't worry about her anymore, okay.?" he said to me, holding his hand out to shake. I took it and shook his hand.

"I promise."

He smiled. "Now let's see if we can get out of here."

I smiled and picked up my bag and we left together. I was discharged and we headed to Reid's place of residency.

I walked into his apartment, overwhelmed by its cleanliness.

"Wow Spence. It's so … clean," I said, looking at him. "Where should I put my stuff?" I asked. He thought for a minute then his face was plastered with pure brilliance.

"Guest room, here, I'll show you." he said stepping in front of me and showing me the way there.

"Wow. Again!" I said, laughing slightly. "You have room for a guest room?" he opened a door and showed me in.

"Yeah. It's a 2 bedroom apartment," he said.

I threw my bag on the floor. "Reid. I cannot thank you enough for doing this." I said. "It's going to be tough." I said, looking at the floor.

"Hey now," Spencer said, with care and affection in his voice. "Everyone at work knows I'm with you so I took the day off to help you. Do you need anything?" he asked.

I looked at the barley decorated room. "How long do you think I'll live with you?" I asked. I could hear Spencer undo his confusion and form a sentence.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

I looked away from the back wall. "This room is pretty bland and I'd bring some of my stuff. But I'm too scared to go back to my place and get it." I said.

Reid snickered and suggested maybe if he went with, we could get a few things. I agreed. I took a quick shower and at 7 we headed to my apartment.

I lived on the 6th floor. Spencer parked out front. We both got out of the car simultaneously and walked to the front door.

"I'm going to need to get my car too..." I said, under my breath.

Spencer and I walked through the front clean window doors and into the lobby. I dug around in my pocket to find my keys.

"Press the up button, please." I said, my voice fading off.

"Sure thing." he said. I heard the ding and looked up. We walked in and soared up to the 6th floor. We came out and my door was knocked in.

"What the…" I said under my breath. I walked down the edge of the hallway and came to see my apartment ransacked and vandalized. "Oh my god," I said, covering my mouth and stumbling back into the opposite wall.

"Blaire," he rushed to my side.

"Look, Reid, Look!" I said, walking into my apartment. "Why would this happen to me?" I said, a few warm and salty tears running down my cheek. "Spence. I don't. I don't have anything anymore."

I walked immediately to my bedroom. My prized possessions were gone. My computer was gone, so was my iPhone. And on the floor was the same picture that Spencer had, the one with Jamison, Reid and I. I knelt down and grabbed it.

"Reid." I said, choking. "She's not going to stop." I said, panic hidden in my voice.

Spencer gave me one look and pulled me out of the apartment. We ran down the stairs and to his car and sped back to his place. "what the hell, Spence?" I shouted.

"I need..." he swallowed. "I need to protect you." he said. "It's not safe for you to be by yourself."

I looked down. "Ok."

He put up his pointer finger and grabbed his phone. "Excuse me..." he said as he answered a call. "Hello," he said. He paused. "Oh, hey, Ryan! How are you?" he paused again, but for longer. "Really? I can ask. That would be nice. Okay. See you, hopefully, in a bit." he looked at me, smiled and hung up. "Do you want to go to Milwaukee for a bit? Spend some time with Ryan Braun and the rest of the brew crew?" he asked playfully.

My jaw dropped. "You can do that?" he nodded. I smiled. "I'd love to go to Milwaukee!"

"Well." he sighed. "I have some work to do in Illinois so I won't be going. But, Ryan is a great guy. He said you could stay with him for the time being. But yes. Enjoy it. Maybe that woman will quit bothering you." I smiled and hugged him.


	2. Who?

Milwaukee; a paradise  
>The plane landed and I took a breath of relief. I was finally away from the BAU headquarters and in one of my favorite places. I got off the plane with Reid.<p>

"Thank you." I said, smiling.

"You're very welcome. Have fun and stay safe, ok?" he said.

I pulled him in and embraced him in a hug. "I promise," I pulled back and gave him a peck on the cheek. I turned around and walked away.

"Wait, Blaire!" Spencer shouted.

"Spence. What is it?" I asked.

"Look for Ryan & Nyjer. They are picking you up."

I gave him a nod and walked away.

Finally, It was me and my favorite things, away from the terrors of my life back home. I walked into the main exit area and looked for my ride.

Ryan and Nyjer stood out like a pink zebra. I smiled and approached the two chest bumping buddies.

"Hey, I'm Blaire," I said, being embraced in a hug.

"We know!" they both shouted, turning me around and then leaving the airport into the humid Milwaukee air.

Ryan popped the trunk of his car threw my couple bags in the back, while Nyjer and I walked around to the passenger side.

"Where are we going?" I asked. Nyjer opened the door for me and hopped in the front seat.

"Ryan's place, hotel's are too expensive, then back to the field." He offered me a fist bump. I agreed and formed a fist. He lunged his fist out, hit my fist and let his hand fly back, his fingers flaring everywhere.

"PLUSH!" Ryan shouted, "Yeah. Sorry," He said, shutting my door and opening the one behind me.

I rubbed my hand. "That kid has an arm," I said under my breath to Ryan.

"Yeah, I know!" He said, laughing back at me. I smiled and looked out the front window.

"I missed Milwaukee. I'm glad to be back!" I said.

Ryan punched my arm. "Well, Milwaukee is glad to have you back!" I rubbed my arm.

"Thanks, why do you two always punch?" I asked.

I saw Ryan and Nyjer make eye contact in the mirror and they both shrugged their shoulders.

"Okay. Well then. How far is your place from the airport?" I asked.

"Not too much longer," he said as he rounded a right corner. "Just up the street...like...right...here!" he said turning into the drive way.

"Wow," I said, dumbfounded by his house's rustic look. "You're place is super nice." I said.

He parked his car and the three of us got out. Nyjer handed me my bag.

"Thanks" I said, following Ryan into his apartment.

"Braun!" Nyjer shouted from behind us.

Ryan and I both turned around. "Yeah," He asked back.

"I'm taking my car and heading back to the field, see you there?" Ryan nodded.

"See you around!" He said, turning back to the apartment and we walked in.

"Here," he said, grabbing my stuff and walking up 3 stories with it. He dug out a key and we came onto the floor.

"Wow, this is your entire floor?" I asked, taking my bag back.

"Yeah, it's a European idea, I guess. Here, I'll show you your room." He said, walking to the left. "It's not much. But I hope it's okay," he said, opening a door and revealing a queen sized bed, draped in a gold and navy blue quit and a French vanity at the other end. The end table had a light and draw and there was a small patio on the other side of the room.

"Ryan, this will do just fine." I said looking up from the beautiful view of Milwaukee.

Our eyes met and we couldn't part. We didn't want to part looks. I closed my eyes and looked away.

"I'm going grab a few things and I'll meet you in the living room. It's right by the door where we came in."

"Okay" I said.

Ryan shut the door and I threw my bags on the bed. I dug around for some makeup. I pulled out bag filled with goodies; cover up, mascara and lip stick. My favorite look was a vintage 1940s look. I embraced the applying of cover up to make the curves of my face flow, I embraced gently letting my mascara wand graze over my eyelashes, I embraced carefully applying lipstick so vibrant it becomes the focal point on my face. I ran my fingers through my hair, grabbed my purse and left and walked to the door I came in.

"Ryan!" I yelled. He came running to me.

"I'm ready to go," he said, looking at me with a strange sparkle in his eye.

"Yeah, I am too," I said opening the door. We both casually walked down stairs, him in front. We reached the first floor, and I was floored.

"Ladies first" he said, surprising me. I never had expected a very successful and handsome athlete to be so, well, chivalrous. We exited his apartment and drive to the all-too-wonderful, Miller Park. Ryan parked in his reserved spot and we both got out. I walked behind his SUV. Ryan stopped next to me.

"Excited?" he asked me.

"Oh you bet I am!" I replied, excitement laced in my voice.

"Not many people get to see this side of me, I mean, uh, the team" he said, obviously trying to hide his mistake.

"I got you." I said, winking.

Ryan let out one of his signature sighs and walked to the park. I couldn't help but to swoon slightly. His cute sigh made me smile and his cute butt made me giggle. We walked in a secret back door to Miller park and into the locker rooms.

"Uh, Ryan. Are you sure, I can be back here?" I asked, worried I was breaking a rule and might get kicked out.

"Yeah. It's perfectly fine. Kinda. Just don't go in the showers. That's all." he said shouting over his shoulder.

I frowned and hugged my purse close to me. I highly doubt I would. But still, the fear of walking in on soapy, sweaty men paralyzed me, though I powered through the fear. Soon, I was in the changing room. I immediately covered my eyes and called for Ryan. I could hear him stop and walked towards me.

"What?" he said, trying to pull my hands from my eyes.

"I can't look." I whispered.

"Why?" he whispered back.

"Too many topless men," I said, my teeth clenched very tightly.

"So?" he replied, laughing a bit.

"They're all married." I said, grabbing his shoulders.

"Oh." he said, pulling himself upward. "Here," he said, taking my hand.

I closed my eyes. Within those 5 seconds, my mind went into a fanatical fantasy. Suddenly, all I wanted was Ryan. He pulled me to a chair outside the locker room. And all I did was sit there. I looked at the wall, plastered with past and present Brewers. After a long boring 10 minutes or so out there, head coach, Ron Ronicke walked past me.

"Uhm, can I help you miss?" I looked about for a minute.

"No?" I said, unsure of what to say.

"Okay. Let's try, why exactly are you here?" he asked again.

"Oh!" I said, laughing, "I'm a friend of Ryan's. It's a very long story why I'm here exactly." I sighed.

Ron just looked at me. He shrugged his shoulders and walked into the locker room.

"Ryan!" he yelled.

Out of the showers walked a towel wrapped, muscular boy. "Yeah?" he said.

"Who was that girl out there?" Ron asked, my associated presence with Ryan, annoying him.

"Blaire, she was in danger. My friend Spencer, you know him," Ryan said, trying to smooth things over with his coach. "I initially invited him up, but our mutual friend, Jamison's little sister was in a pickle where she wasn't safe in Quantico, so I suggested she come down instead" he said. By the end of his mini speech the locker room was staring at him. Ron shrugged his shoulders and continued about his business.

Ryan sighed and rolled his eyes.

Jonathan Lucroy approached him. "Haha, so you're babysitting?"

Ryan shrugged his shoulders. "Not...well...kinda..." he said, putting on his jersey.

"Jonathan, she's 18. So, no."

John rolled his eyes and laughed. "Babysitter."

Ryan punched John. "Be nice. Oh. And how's your little girl?" he asked, his voice mildly tender.

"She's turning two, but Lacey and I are getting a divorce. I mean. Well. It's too much for the two of us. Raising Ellia, I'm hardly ever home," John said, honesty lingering in his voice.

Ryan patted him on the back. "It's okay. I'm thankful I haven't been married. And I don't think I ever will," Ryan chuckled began to change.

I calmly sat outside of the locker room, casually texting. Suddenly, someone grabbed my shoulder. I whipped my head around, to see someone in a ski mask, grasping my arm.

"Let me go!" I yelled, struggling to get free from the suffocating grasp. They only squeezed tighter. "Let me go!" I shouted, even louder. The person still didn't let me go. Soon I was in a full on death scream, the person was getting intolerant and wacked me across my head, I flew out of the person's grasp and fell to the ground.

Out ran Ryan. He crouched down to my level and pulled my hair off my face.

"How bad is it," I gasped.

"No..Not bad," he said, his voice shaking.

He slowly, and not so steadily placed his hand on my head, where the open wound was. "Just breathe, someone is coming to clean this up."


	3. Confused and It's Not From This Headache

Miller Park; A dangerous haven

I laid limply. Ryan whispered calming phrases in my ears. I closed my eyes and tried to not focus on my massive headache I had just conceived. Yet, more and more people kept huddling around me. I had many people crouched by me, Lucroy and Greinke, who were trying to calm me also. Literally, the entire team stood over me, creating a mountain type shadow. I felt like a poor criminal in court. Well, I'm not sure if I'd feel bad for the criminal.

"Whe…where is the person who is suppose to take of me?" I asked, my voice shaking. I didn't want this to be the end of anything, like having a personality. The Lobotomy procedure but, harsh and unsupervised.

Ryan stroked my blood dried hair, "Soon, don't you worry one bit."

I smiled and swallowed. _How could I not, Mister Braun?_

"Move!" I heard someone shout, followed by squeaking of tennis shoes. "Guys, please, move!" they shouted again. Sure enough, in scrambled the onsite medic.

"Oh my god," I said, freaking out a bit. My salvation had arrived. He quickly poured a wash on the side of my face. "Son of a bitch…" I said, under my breath. The pain was terrible.

He soon was soon wiping the blood off. Each wipe stinging me more. He dug around in his bag and took out a dressing and some tape. Careful he cleaned the dressing and placed it on the side of my head. Not only was my head throbbing and hurting on the inside, but it stung on the outside. He ripped a few pieces of tape and made a tape chain around the outside of the dressing, securing it to my head. By now, half the team had left.

"Ryan, go get ready, okay, I'll live," I said, grabbing his hand.

Lucroy and Grienke soon left, leaving just Ryan, the medic.

He squeezed my hand. "At least sit up," he looked at the doctor. "Can she sit up?"

"Maybe, here, Blaire, slowly sit up," he said, easing me up.

I sat side saddle. "See Ryan, I'll be okay." In reality, I felt a bit in balanced and I wanted to barf.

Ryan stood up and gave me a nod and ran down the hallway. His mind was racing also. The game was an important one. It was win this one, or no play offs. He wanted to make it the World Series and bring home a win for Milwaukee. And I didn't blame him.

I watch him run and averted my eyes to the medic, who was wrapping my head, "I will be okay, right?" I asked, rather worried.

He gave my dressing a final, tight wrap. "Yeah, even with the blunt force trauma, I'm not worried at all with a concussion, strangely," he laughed. "But I'm taking you back to get one though. Just to be safe, okay?" he said, patting my shoulder.

"Okay," I said, that pat didn't feel too hot. My entire body was sensitive and I wanted to sleep and never wake up.

He offered me his hand and helped me stand up. We slowly walked away and back to the station.

Ryan face palmed.

"What's bothering you?" Jonathan asked Ryan, concerned for his friend.

"Blaire. I don't want her to die. She's too young," he said, tucking in his white jersey. Maybe it was because he had a strangely weird feeling about me. Not a mushy, gushy one, but rather one Spencer had for me.

Lucroy patted his back, "Don't worry. She will be okay. I know," he said, reassuringly. John laughed a bit. "She's in good hands with Zander."

Ryan gave him a agreed and John left go on the field to practice. Ryan took out his baseball cap and secured it on his head, flattening the stereotypical "Jewish curl". He left soon thereafter to warm up also. 

The medic administered a simple concussion tests and I passed, with flying colors He gave me some strong painkillers and sent me on my way. I uneasily walked down the hallway and onto the field. I didn't know if the person who had ransacked my home and beat me with a hard object was still down here. Well, I assume those two horrific crimes were done by the same person. But, thankfully, there was none down there, except Mister Prince Fiedler.

"Go get 'um Blaire!" he said, offering me a kind high five.

I accepted and slapped his hand and laughed.

I walked onto the diamond and sighed. My eyes soared over the crisp cut grass and on to Ryan.

It was a scene from a horrifying love story. How at the end when every calms down and an acoustic guitar starts playing and a folk singer sings, as the girl looks at the love of her life doing what he does best, (in this case baseball). And the girl is healing from an injury. But sadly, it wasn't the beginning of anything. I didn't feel like distracting him with my company so I walked over towards the pitcher's mound.

John Axford was pitching to Jonathan. "Axford, can I talk to Lucroy, I'll be quick," I said, patting his back. Axford gave me the nod and I approached home plate. Jonathan, still squatting, stood up and took of his blue catchers mask. "Ryan was rather, genuinely worried for you," Jonathan said, letting the helmet drop. "Are you legitly okay?"

I nodded, "Yeah, I'm rather drugged up on painkillers, thank God. This head ache is massive!" I said, laughing a bit, then grabbed my throbbing head. If only the thought of soapy, sweaty, married men would leave my head, I maybe I'd feel better. "What time is the game at?"

Jonathan looked around, frantically. _What a weirdo._

"What?" I asked, maybe worried. But I really wasn't.

"Looking for a clock," he said. "Do you have the time?"

I reached in my back pocket and pulled out my phone, "It's around noon," I said.

"Less than an hour," he said.

"HEY!" we heard someone shout.

John and I both looked over to the shout. Ron wanted one of us. I pointed at John and Ron shook his head.

"I'll be back!" I said to John.

He slapped my butt as I ran away. I turned around and smiled at him.

"Blaire!" Ron shouted again.

I sighed and broke eye contact with John and went over to Ron. "Yes sir," I said, happily.

"Listen, Ryan explained everything to me…," he began.

I sat there. Listening to Ron blab on and on about how Ryan told him why I was here. All I could think about was John, or was it Ryan. But maybe, Spencer was hurt. I couldn't think straight, for one. I really liked, well, all three of them. As I listened to Ron, I contemplated my choices. I slowly peaked out of the left corner of my eye, into the outfield, I watched Ryan jog back and forth with Nyjer and Corey. I focused back on the rambling fool then peaked out to my right. John was playing catch with K-Rod. I refocused on Ron.

"Now, Don't make any more of a scene, okay?" He said.

I grabbed his shoulder. "I promise," I said, moving around him and sitting on the bench.


	4. Here To Stay

Dugouts; Oh Balls!  
>I sashayed my butt back and forth along the bench. It made an eerie creak as I went from left to right. I wondered if my apartment door made that sound when that mad someone broke in. Probably, poor door, it was neglected. I kept forgetting to use the WD-40 on its hinges.<p>

I looked around the slowly filling park. People poured in from everywhere. It was a mad house. People were screaming, whooping, and many laughing also. The scary part for me was the fact that the person who caused me all this trouble, could be in this very stadium, waiting to attack me and I was ill prepared.

All the brew crew except Corey Hart took a seat, Corey was up to bat. I was captivated until Ryan shouted my name and pulled me out of my rather magical trance. I looked towards the right end of the dugout.  
>"Yeah," I said. That boy had a way of grabbing my attention. He gestured for me to go over there. I slowly, but politely made my way over there. I accidently bumped into a few people on my way there, but I made it eventually. "Hey!" I said, stopping next to Ryan. "What did you need?" I asked.<p>

"Ron talked with you, right?" he asked me, looking down.

I nodded a half nod. Obviously, I didn't pick up much, due to the racing thoughts of Ryan and Jonathan. "Sort of, I was too busy day dreaming."

Ryan shook his head and laughed.

"What!" I laughed as Corey struck out.

"I have to go on deck. I'll explain later." he said running out of the dugout. I sat and watched Nyjer get a base hit and Ryan hit a home run, putting us a head by two runs. Ryan ran back into the dugout. Strange enough he was already sweating. He walked to me. But not before he gave everyone on the team high five. Ryan's face was glowing and all I could was smile. His smile was rather infectious, his laugh contagious and his personality intoxicating.

"So what were you going to say?" I said, playfully.

Ryan picked me up and whirled me around and said, "You're just a big ball of trouble young lady!" he set me down.

I sat there for a moment. One of the guys of my dreams (_yes, I know it's sad I have more than one_) just held me. Hell, even though he was sweating, a lot, his smell was very good. It was what I would hold onto forever. He smelled like sweat and Old Spice, an unforgettable combonation.

I looked down to the front of the dugout and saw John just sit and look at me. I stared into his eyes, just as Ryan wrapped his muscular arms around my waist. I laughed, heartily still looking at John. His smile was gone and looked away with anguish. I looked at the score board and bear hugged Ryan.

The team was winning. "Ryan, not going to lie here, but, that was awesome!" I shouted. He pulled me close and I looked out to John who was suiting up to catch. Ryan whispered in my ear, "There's a party after this game win or lose, and I need a date," he said.

"Okay?" I said, unsure of what to say. _Sure Ryan, I'd love to be your date, and marry you, and have your babies too. But a date will for now. _

"Will you be my date?" he asked, pulling back.

I looked him square in the face. Mentioning of marriage and babies could be kind of weird."Of course," I said, hugging him. "But," I began, and stopped. Did I want to add, "only as friends" and put out a potential spark, or just keep my lips shut.

"What?" Ryan asked, looking for more.

"We're going as friends, nothing more, right?" I asked, uneasily. And the feeling of regret washed over me. Sometimes, I should stop while I'm ahead.

"Oh," Ryan looked away. "Of course," he said, half way energetic.

The brewers were up by 4 now, but the Yankees struck out Hairston. Ryan grabbed his glove and ran out to leftfield. He ran out of the dugout. I sat back on the bench, when Zack approached me.

"Do you like Ryan or something?" he asked, like a teenager would. Well, more like a valley girl, and that bugs the crap out of me.

"Why?" I replied, squinting an eye.

"He seems pretty damn sure that he likes you," Zack said, looking out into the field, just as Yovanni wound up and threw a strike.

I stood up with excitement, "Really?" I said, my real emotion showing.

Zack gave me a confused look .

"I mean," I faked a weak cough. "What do you mean?"

"Uhm," he said. "The way, the way he acts around you." It almost sounded like a question.

Of course Ryan acts like a goober around me. I have noticed too Zack! I wanted to scream, but I controlled myself. "You think so?" I asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" he asked me back.

"Hey. Grienke, don't answer my question with a question," I said, as I felt my phone vibrate. I pulled it out of my back pocket. Spencer was calling. "Hold your horses," I said as I walked back into the tunnel leading to the locker room.

"Hey Spence!" I answered the call.

"Hey," he said. Spencer sounded way too tired.

"How are you, dear?" I asked, worried for him.

"In a Chicago hospital," he said, his voice weakening.

"Whoa, Spence, What happened?" I asked, plugging one ear due to the deafening screams.

"Shot in the leg," he coughed and he quit talking.

"Spence!" I screamed. "Spencer!" I shouted.

Someone picked up the phone, "Blaire, ma'am, Spencer has gone into cardiac arrest," she said and hung up. I pressed the red button on my phone and started crying. I fell back to the wall and slid down it.

Out on the field, the Brewers were having a hay day. Ryan had caught one popup and Yovanni struck out another guy. Ryan was waiting for another fly ball to catch and finally play offense. He sat and waited patiently, looking at that batter, never removing his eyes until the ball was off the bat in the air headed for him. Ryan ran forward and caught the ball, ending the defense. The nine guys ran into the dugout. He immediately went and slurped down a cup of Gatorade. He looked around for a bit and called for John.

"Lucroy, what happened to Blaire?" he asked John, setting the cup down.

Jonathan shrugged his shoulders. "She wasn't out here when I got in, but, good fielding, bro." He said, high-fiving him. "Oh and by the way," John continued, "Excited to go clubbing tonight with the crew?" he asked.

"Oh! Yeah! Blaire's taking along, I hope you don't mind!" he said excitedly.

John stared at him for a couple seconds. "No. Of course not."

Ryan began to walk away, when he turned around and faced John again. "You are the best friend on the planet John, you know that right?"

John gave him a nod and walked towards the other end of the tunnel and sat down for a bit.

Ryan looked around then turned down the tunnel. "Blaire," he said, quietly, running to me. He squatted next to me. "Blaire, what's wrong?" he asked, pulling my hands away from my face.

"He's hurt, he's hurt bad!" I shouted.

Ryan looked at me innocently. He hushed me and pulled me close. "Who was?"

"Ryan, it's Spence, it's Spence," I cried into his jersey.

He grabbed my head and pulled me close. "He'll be okay, I promise," he said into my hair.

I wanted to wail, curl up in a ball and sleep forever. But I couldn't. I coughed and held back more tears. Ryan reached his dirty hand up and wiped warm and salty tears from my cheeks.

"He went into cardiac arrest," I said quietly.

Ryan pulled me in, even tighter. "Don't worry, Spence is a fighter. He will pull through. And the party tonight will help you relax a bit. Promise." He said.

I looked up at him. "You promise?" I asked my voice cracking.

"I do," he said, hope in his voice. He helped me stand up. I gave him a hug.


	5. Clubbin'

Club; Ain't what it is, is it?

The Brewers won the first game of the series. After the game, the boys cleaned up while I waited in Ryan's car. I texted a few friends, telling them all was well with me. I thought about tonight. I had never been clubbing before. I couldn't imagine what I was suppose to do. Dance, drink? I let scenarios run through my mind like a mirage. Day dreaming was my down fall. I would create a romantic situation with the person I liked, and nothing would go right.

Eventually, Ryan came knocking on the driver door. He looked in and smiled. I reach across from the passenger seat and unlocked the door.

"Good game," I said to him.

He threw his duffel bag in the back. "Thanks, lots of hard work."

"I…"I stuttered. "I imagine so."

We sat in an awkward silence as we drove to a booked club for the party. With each turn, different muscles in Ryan's arm would contract, allowing you do see his gross and enlarged veins. I couldn't help but to look. I causally made my way up to his face. "How do you club?" I asked, after the long moment of silence.

"Really?" he asked, chuckling a bit. "Just have fun. Don't worry." He said, rounding a right corner.

We pulled up to a building. It looked old and run down, but there was a bass blaring from it. Ryan parked in the parking lot in back and we got out. Many of the other Brewers had arrived before us, many with their wives or girlfriends.

_Tonight was going to be quite interesting._ I thought to myself.

"Don't worry," Ryan said, leaning down. "They're all friendly."

We walked in the back door of the club and the bass was thumping. I was suddenly ready to party. I just wanted to dance. There were even more Brewers in the club. The very first person I spotted was John, who was downing a shot glass. Whiskey? Wasn't vodka do to the partially opaque coloring. I walked over to him.

"John!" I shouted over the bass.

He gave it a final throw back and looked at me. "Hey!" he said, shaking my hand, like any man does.

"Good game, catcher!" I said, flirtatiously punching his arm.

"I see you came here with my main man, Ryan," he commented, randomly.

"Yeah, I guess so!" I said, perplexed by that comment. I bet Ryan told him. I looked around the club for a bit, I conveniently lost Ryan in the sea of people. "Hey, I, I don't have a clue as to where Ryan is, so, you care to dance?" I asked, standing up and offering my hand.

John looked at me and grabbed my hand. "I'd love too."

We walked into the mess. I looked John in the eyes. Something about him, it all made sense. I'm not sure what made sense, but I did. And I wanted to be a part of it.

He and I danced, song after song, bouncing around, having a blast, I never wanted this night to end. After a good hour of dancing, I became parched. John and I strolled to the bar and he purchased me a martini, though I was under age. I took a big sip and laughed. "John, best night, ever!" I shouted. I grabbed his hand. I took one more drink and I set my drink down. John leaned in and kissed me. His warm lips caressed my in an almost loving embrace. I pulled back just an inch and opened my eyes. I chuckled a bit.

"What's so funny?" he asked, confused.

I put my hand behind his head and kissed him again this time with more force. He penetrated my lips with his tongue. I couldn't get enough. He lifted his hands from his thighs and slowly placed them around my waist.

"Blaire!" Someone shouted.

I stopped mid kiss and pulled away.

The shout came from a possibly jealous Ryan. "Can you please explain what the hell is going on?" Ryan said, madder than ever.

I had to lie. If I was honest, Ryan may just kill me, or John.

I took a final drink of my martini and stood up, "I'm drunk as hell," I said, my words slurred together.

Ryan looked at John. "How much alcohol did you throw in front you her, you asshole!" he shouted.

John just stared at him.

I stared at Ryan.

John shrugged his shoulders.

The look that went across Ryan's face suddenly worried me. "Oh my god..." he said, backing away. "Why I otta.." but before he could finish his own sentence, Ryan leaned out and threw a fist, alongside John's temple.

It sounded like a bat hitting a ball and John was on the floor barely moving.

I let out a panicked yelp and the club became silent. I looked at Ryan who still had the fist made, but with the look of regret on his face. John lay limp. "Did ... Did... Is he okay?" I managed to spit out.

Ryan stood there still looking at John.

I gave Ryan a final glance and walked over to John and crouched by him. I tapped his shoulder and his eyes opened a crack. "Hey. Are you okay?" I asked, helping him sit up.

"You bastard!" he yelled about ready to throw a punch back at Ryan.

I intervened this time. "John!" I said, grabbing his arms. "Don't. It's nothing to fight over. Be the bigger man" I said.

His arms slowly became limp and they fell to his sides. "I'm going outside for some fresh air," he said.

The sadness in his voice was tear provoking and I wanted to cry. I then turned around to Ryan. "Seriously?" I asked him.

He looked back at me, thinking. "You're such a whore. No wonder why that person is ruining your life! You deserve it! Look it what you have caused!" he yelled, for everyone to hear.

I could believe what I just heard. My date just insulted me to the max. "Do you really think that?" I mumbled, tears running down my cheeks, my cover up coming off in its tracks.

Ryan was breathing heavily and rapidly. He looked around and threw his arm out in a gesture to me. "Yes!" he finally yelled.

I was dumbfounded. I stared into his brown eyes, my lower lip quivering. "I'll be going now," I said in a low whisper as I darted out a different door than John. I went outside and cried. Two times. One night. I was an emotional wreck. My life was falling to pieces. The one who protects me is probably dead and the person who is suppose to protect me thinks I'm a whore and hates me. What else was I suppose to do, other than cry. I sat against the brick wall. I thought about John. I thought about his kiss. I thought about his tongue. I thought about the punch thrown to his face by one of his best friends. All because I ran off with the best friend of my date. I was a cheater and I hated myself for it.

As I stood up., a car drove by. Sure enough, it was John. He rolled down his passenger window.

"Lucroy, are you okay?" I asked, approaching his car.

"Yeah." he said.

I opened the door. "What are you doing?" he asked, looking at me.

"I'm in your car." I said, just staring out the front window.

Ryan looked around the club, but not directly at anyone. He managed to look Craig in the eyes, though. Craig only shook his head. He punched his very best friend over me. I came to be with Ryan, to party with the Hebrew hammer, but all I did was break his pretty little heart. What kind of person does that? All I could was try and change my image towards Ryan now.

"John. I am so sorry. I thought maybe if I told him I was drunk, maybe he'd let It go and party with me," I sighed. "Guess not…"

Lucroy took one hand off the wheel and grabbed mine. "It's okay. You have been through a lot. I should have declined the request in the first place. You were here for Ryan." he said, so truthfully. I agreed. With Ryan now and John too, I should have never asked him to dance. I squeezed his hand. "For my entire life, I will never, ever regret dancing with you. Though it wasn't my kind of dancing."

John's face was plastered with a look of curiosity. "What kind of dancing do you like?" he asked.

I thought for a second. "Slow," I said.

John nodded tastefully and took a left. "Fair enough," he said. I could tell he was thinking. "So. If I asked you to dance, would you accept?" he asked playfully.

John parked outside his house. I gave it a couple quick thoughts. "Of course I would!"

We both casually got out of his car, walked through the front porch and into the living room.

"Charming," I said, commenting on the look of the living room as he went to the iPod dock.

"You think so?" he asked, his voice muffled.

"Yeah." I said. Suddenly, the song "Can't Take My Eyes off You" by Lady Antebellum came on.

"I love this song," I said to myself.

John must have over heard me. "I do too." 


	6. Laid and lovin' it

Home; Where dreams come true  
>The song played. I wrapped my arms around Lucroy's neck. He placed his catcher hands around my waist and pulled me close. I took a sniff. He smelled of Ralph Lauren and leather, another unforgettable combination. I looked him deeply in the eyes. It was a whole new feeling. I wanted him. No one else and nothing else would suffice.<p>

I peered around the living room. It was a rather bare space, but cute. The earth tones made it cozy and the pictures made it like home. He had lots of pictures of his daughter. In every single one, she was smiling, and she had a Lucroy smile. He only had one family picture, of him and his wife, and the glass was cracked. Then I spotted an empty picture frame. It read family in the middle and had three small slots for pictures. Maybe his daughter gave it to him and he had yet to fill it.

"You're rather short," he commented cutely. Before I could say anything, John had his lips on my mine. I embraced this kiss. No tongue, at first. I pulled back and he pressed his forehead against mine as he pulled me closer. "My wife hates slow dancing." he said quietly.

"Oh really?" I said, my left arm relaxing a bit, causing it to slide unto his shoulder. "That's not cool!"

He relaxed a bit too.

The song sadly ended and I sat down on the couch. John did too. "How did you know Jamison?" I asked. Everyone seemed to know him.

"Well, Jamison was an avid baseball fanatic, as you may have known, and he always came to our games because apparently he hailed from Milwaukee. And well, he was with us on a regular basis. Good guy. I loved him. In a non homosexual way." he clarified.

I smiled and leaned against him, "I understand," I said. I looked up and John kissed me. This time, my warm, soft tongue penetrated his lips and went into his mouth. I could feel his teeth and his tongue. My emotions all washed away from me and I couldn't help myself. I reached under his shirt. He had abs. He had nice abs. He had a 6 pack. I pulled away. I grabbed the bottom of his shirt and I pulled up over his head. I gently kissed his neck. I didn't really want to get naked until I heard his moan and felt his hand around the bottom of my Braun jersey and pulled it over my head. He let out another turned on sigh and he reclined. I crawled up to his chest.

"Blaire, can I be honest?" he asked, stroking my hair.

"Yeah, feel free," I said, nuzzling closer to him.

"Whatever happens and what did happen tonight, I will never regret it," he said. I smiled and buried my face into his body.

"Do you have anything to drink?" I asked.

"Yeah. I have some Miller Genuine Draft in the fridge. Why?" he asked.

I stood up and brushed my skin a bit, geting rid of some pieces of hair and dust. "Want one?" I said.

"I'll just come with you," he said getting up and wrapping his arm around me.

We walked into the kitchen and cracked open a bottle each. I took a drink.

"Beer," I said, laughing. "It's so good!" I shouted.

John just looked at me, smiling as he drank. John grabbed my hand pulled me through the house and into his bedroom. I sat my beer down and plopped on the bed.

"This bed is way to comfy to be legal," I said as he laid next to me. All I wanted was him.

I woke up. Naked. Next to a naked John. I gently tapped his shoulder. "Lucroy," I whispered.

"What?" he said sleepily.

"Is what I think what happened last night, real?" I asked.

John shrugged his shoulders and looked under the covers. He looked up and nodded.

I rolled onto the floor and put my clothes back on. I did have sex with Jonathan Lucroy. I looked on the floor and took a huge sigh of relief.

"What?" he said, getting changed also.

"Condom," I said, standing up to button my jeans.

"I need to get back to Ryan's place. All my stuff is there," I said.

"Okay!" John said, as we ran out of the house and to his car.

We quickly drove to Ryan's apartment. I opened the back door I came in and ran up to the third floor.

"Ryan!" I said, pounding on the door. "Please, let me in!" I yelled.

Ryan opened his door. "I'm so sorry about what I said last night," he said, hugging me. Ryan had some awful mood swings. Happy and cuddly one moment and then douchebaggy and mean the next.

"I need to change," I said, walking to the guest room. Ryan followed me.

"Where did you go?" he asked.

I opened the door and dug around in my bag. "Lucroy's," I said quietly.

Ryan walked around the other side of the bed. "What did he do to you?"

I looked up from the wad of clothes in my hand. I lied many times in the past couple weeks. Why the hell not do it again? "Nothing. I just crashed on the couch. Where's your bathroom?"

He walked out of the door and pointed down the hallway.

"Thanks," I said, walking there.

Ryan didn't need to know I did his best friend. And he won't ever hear about it. I set my phone on the sink and began to change when my ringtone, "I Just Want to Make Love to You" by Etta James went off. God, I loved that song. I looked at the caller ID. It was a strange area code, but I reluctantly answered.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hi, Blaire? This is Doctor Cooper. I just called to tell you Spencer Reid is recovering. He is doing well and can talk. Would you like to speak to him?" he asked me. _Very professional_, I thought.

"Please and thanks," I said. There was some rustling and I heard Spencer.

"Hey." he said.

"Hold on" I said quickly changing my shirt. "Hey! You gave me such a scare!" I said, copying what he said to me when I was hurt.

"Yeah. It wasn't fun. I had just lost a lot of blood. I was still under stress. Not a good combination." he said, chuckling a bit.

"But you're alive and well?" I asked. I opened the door and turned off that bathroom lights and walked back to my room.

"Yeah I am." he said. "How's Milwaukee?"

I sighed. "Great. Brewers won one game so far. Another game here soon. Can I call this number back tonight?" I asked.

"Sure, bye!" he said.

I hung up the phone and walked outside. John and Ryan were talking. Oh lord, what did John tell Ryan that I just lied about. I braced myself for the worst.

"Boys. Hey." I said. "What are you guys talking about?" I asked casually.

"The game, dude!" Ryan shouted, high fiving a now smiling John. I smiled too. I was just relieved Ryan didn't know what John and I did. I knew John was discreet.

"Hey, I'll meet you and Ryan at Miller Park," John said walking to his car.

Ryan and I just sat there and watched him drive away.

Ryan looked at me. "Dinner?" he said. I looked at my phone. It's 12. I was rather hungry. So I accepted his offer and we ate at a locally owned Greek restaurant. Just to try something new. As we waited for our food, Ryan grilled me with questions and a lot of them. Most of them I managed to shrug off, but, I didn't know how to respond to "_How was the sex?_"

I stared blankly at him. "What?" I asked puzzled by the statement.

"Did you and Lucroy have sex?"

I took a sip of my soda and shook my head. "No! Why would you think that? Because I'm whore?"

Ryan stared me directly in the face. "No. I regret saying that," he said, reaching out his hand towards mine. I grabbed it and smiled.

"So you don't hate me?" I asked caringly.

"I could never hate you." Just as he finished, our food came and we chowed down. Bite after bite, I savored it. We paid and then left to go win another game.

Basically the same thing as yesterday happened, but Yankees one.

Now it was the final game that would decide who'd go to the World Series. 


	7. Explode

Hospitals; confinement at its finest  
>Brewers won that game. They were officially on their way to the World Series. A few days after the club accident, I began to feel really sick and I my period was late. I went to a local Milwaukee clinic and found out the most gut wrenching news of my life. I had gone to the clinic by myself so I had no moral support for that brick wall that just hit me. The doctor came in and told me, I was pregnant. I shook my head and I was ushered out with little more info. I walked out to the strip mall and waited for Ryan. He had batting practice with the boys and I decided to tag along. We got there and my stomach dropped. I had to tell John. The World Series, merely just days away, it would be wrong of me to tell him now, but it was now business. We were just FWB for one night.<p>

I waited until most of the guys had left the park, until it was just Jonathan and I.

I carefully and graciously approached him.

"Hey John," I said, standing behind him.

He turned around. "Blaire, Hello," he said.

I looked at my feet, trying to hold back tears. My eyes stung with them though. I felt a warm one slip down my cheek. John stood in front of me and lifted my head up.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

I sniffled and looked up. "John, I don't know, quite what to say, but," I wiped a tear off my cheek. "But I'm pregnant," I sobbed.

John wrapped his arms around me and cradled me. "Hush," he said. "Don't worry, you'll be great."

I hiccupped and nodded. "I must go," I said, leaving the locker room. I left Miller Park and met Ryan outside in the parking lot. I did my best to cover up my tears, but Ryan saw me and looked concerned.

"Hey, what's bothering you?" he asked, rubbing my back

"Just Spencer," I lied. "He's still not getting any better.

"Oh, still in Illinois?" he asked I nodded and got in his car.

I don't think Ryan could have handled the truth. The gravity of this situation was beyond even my comprehension. In the car ride back home, all I could do was stare at my belly. In nine months or less, I wouldn't be able to hide the truth. I would wait for that right moment, to tell Ryan and maybe it would smooth over easier. I have noticed a trend of him swallowing news badly. Maybe it was caused by jealousy.

We pulled up to his place and went inside to relax. He cracked open a beer and offered me one. I politely declined.

"Hey. I'll be back in a moment," I said, getting up and leaving. I walked to the guest room and out on the porch. I pulled out my phone and called Spencer

"Hello?" I heard him say.

"Spence," I whispered.

"What's wrong?" he asked immediately.

I swallowed and wiped a tear from my cheek. "I'm pregnant," I said, looking up at the setting sun.

I heard Spencer sigh.

"I'm sorry," I said, sniffling.

"Don't be sorry," he said. "Who's the dad?" he asked.

"Lucroy, Ryan's best friend." I said, crying a bit louder.

Ryan turned on the TV, but he still managed to hear my crescendoing sobs.

Spencer hushed me. "Don't worry. This will all work out in the end," he said, and he said it so reassuringly too.

"You still love me?" I asked, "Even though I'm pregnant?"

He laughed. "Yes. Now relax. It's not good for a developing embryo."

I laughed, "Okay" and we hung up.

I slide my phone back in my pocket and left the deck and stood in front of the vanity. Once something is said, it cannot be taken back. And it's the same for actions. I sighed and opened the door and their stood Ryan.

"You're pregnant?" he asked.

I just stared at him.

"Well!" he shouted.

I gave one nod and he put his hand to his face. "When did you plan on telling me?" he yelled. The tears fell like waterfalls.

"Later! I didn't want you to explode at me like this!" I cried slamming the door and plopping on the bed. I landed face first into a pillow and sobbed. I closed my eyes and just cried. Ryan was nice, and caring, but he has issues with controlling his negative emotions. I wiped my wet cheeks and I stared out the window while Ryan knocked, time after time. A light went off in my head, I could do two with this situation. I could mope about it, or I could make the best of it and have fun with it. I stopped sobbing and he gave up and shouted, "That's it. I'm coming in!" he yelled, opening the door. Ryan stood at the foot of my bed. "Listen I'm sorry for exploding at you. But I mean, with my best friend? Isn't that wrong?" he asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Yeah. And I feel bad about it. But I'm going to have it," I said.

He laid next to me. "You'll be okay, right?" he asked.

I rolled over and faced him. "I'll live," I said.

Ryan laughed and I looked confused. "What's so funny?" I asked.

"You have only been here a week and you're pregnant," he said.

"I'm such a mess up. Don't remind me," I sighed and yawned.

"Why don't you sleep?" Ryan suggested getting up.

I was way ahead of him and partially asleep. I heard him shut the door and he walked back to the kitchen and living area. He searched around his kitchen for a bit and dug out his phone. Ryan looked for Jonathan's number. He clicked the green phone and called John. John answered.

"Hey Braun," he said.

"Hey!" Ryan said, "Can you come over sometime tonight? I want to have a chat."

"When should I come over?" he asked.

"Now," Ryan said, hanging up.

He hung up his phone and set it on the island in the kitchen. Ryan walked into the living room and sat down. Jonathan lived only a couple miles away so, Ryan didn't feel the need to turn the TV on to occupy himself. He just sat and waited in silences, possibly calming himself. But, John knocked on the door within minutes.

Ryan got up and opened the door.

They both high fived and Ryan ushered him in.

"Hey," John said. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Blaire," He said.


	8. Heartbeat's so magical

Month 1; arguably the worst 

I cracked my eyes opened and scanned the ceiling. I heard Ryan talking to John in the living room. There was, surprisingly, no shouting, but no laughing. I lifted the covers off and shivered. It was cold in my room. I quietly opened my door and crept down to the edge of the hallway. Out of sight, but able to hear what they were say

"Well, is she going to stay with you?" John asked Ryan, John in the middle of a text.

Ryan nodded and John looked up from his phone. "I was trusted to take care of her," Ryan said.

John looked at Ryan. "Very well," he said. "But just so you know, that's my baby," John said, forcefully. It was reassuring to know he seemed to care.

"Yeah, I know. And she'll probably end up living with you later on anyways," Ryan scowled, jealousy in his voice.

Living with John? That's another dream of mine. Ever since I had spent the night at his house, all I could do was imagine myself actually living there. I felt like I belonged in his arms. And I could only hope he felt the same way.

But I still adored Ryan in every way possible. He seemed to enjoy my company and whenever we would talk, I always had fun. He always had something funny to say.

I stood up and walked out there. "Hello boys," I said, walking into the kitchen to pour myself a cup of milk.

"When do you go to the doctors next?" Ryan asked, adjusting himself on the couch so he could see me.

I took a sip and thought for a second. "In two weeks," I said.

"John and I decided we'd both go with you this time," Ryan explained.

"How does that sound?" John asked me.

I nodded and walked into the living room and sat in the recliner, still drinking my milk. Interesting idea. "Okay. Whatever," I said. "What time is it?" I casually asked.

John dug out his BlackBerry. "5:34 pm."

My jaw dropped. "Ryan! How long was I asleep?" I asked.

"Oh a couple hours," he said.

"A couple?" I laughed out.

Ryan shrugged his shoulders.

"It's okay Ryan. Don't worry," I said, finishing my milk and setting the on the end table, between the recliner and 60 inch flat screen TV. "So," I said, looking awkwardly into their eyes. "I'm hungry," I said.

Ryan thought for a minute. "I could cook us something, and by us I mean you, I and John," he said standing up.

"Sure. Dinner with the two greatest guys on the planet would be wonderful" I said, smiling stupidly. 

Two Weeks Later

I felt sick. Maybe it was caused by the pregnancy or maybe it was because I was rather nervous. I put on a pair of shorts and my old JJ Hardy jersey. I dug around for my phone and called Spencer. He was now in rehabilitation. It was a step in the right direction and he promised me he'd come to Milwaukee and work this situation out. My brother made some good friends.

Spencer answered after the third ring, "Hey Blaire!" he said, happily. "Today's the day, isn't it?" he asked,

I stood in my room, looking out my window. "Yeah it is," I said, less excited than Spencer.

"Come on! This is great!" he shouted. "You're pregnant!" he yelled.

I sighed. "I guess."

"What's bothering you?" he asked kindly.

I looked at my chipping blue and yellow nail polish. "I'd just feel better of you were here," I sighed. "Ryan's been great and so has John, though he's not around much. You just always make me feel comfortable." I said, trying not to cry. It had been weeks since I had last seen Spencer and I don't think I could handle much longer. "When will you be back?" I asked, my eyes brimming with tears.

"Soon, in a few days. I'll be sure to be at the last game of the World Series. I have a ticket to it," he said reassuringly.

I smiled and laughed a bit. "Okay. See you soon." I said hanging up.

I walked out of my room and walked to Ryan's bathroom. I knocked quietly.

"Who is it?" he asked.

I put my hand on my hips and cocked my right one out. "Who's the only other person here?" I asked sarcastically.

Ryan opened the door. I took one look at him and smiled

"You are Jewish," I said playfully, petting his hair. "Are we going to go soon?"

He grabbed my hand mid-pet and stopped it. "Yes," he said dropping my hand and turning off the lights.  
>"Let's go," he said, slapping my butt.<p>

"Whoa," I said, turning around.

"Keep going or I'll slap your butt again," he threatened, playfully.

I faced the front again and we walked to his car. "Are we meeting Lucroy there or what?" I asked.

Ryan nodded.

"I'm sure the GYN is going to be like, 'uh, Miss Blaire Copper, which one of these men is the father of your baby?' I swear she will!" I said, laughing.

Ryan laughed too, but it was a stressed laugh. All I could do after this point was try and keep myself relaxed, for myself, the baby and, equally as important, the boys. The last thing those two need is another stressor. The Brewers hadn't made it since 1982; it was sort of a big deal around here. Maybe if I was under less stress, maybe they would be too. Spencer was going to meet at the final game of the series. It felt like I hadn't seen him in a life time. The past several weeks went by fast and they were such a blur. I was finally ready to straighten the next year out and make it the best year, ever!

Ryan and I sat in an interested silence. ESPN radio had a way of hypnotizing. They were commenting on the trading between the major leagues and minor leagues. I looked over to Ryan. "Are you worried about being traded next year?" I asked.

He studied me quickly and looked back out on the road. "No. I signed another 2 year contract with the Brewers." He said, reassuring himself along with it. I nodded and looked out the front window. We pulled up to the hospital.

"Can you call John and find out where he is?" Ryan asked, making a left turn and going all the way down. He parked almost as far as he could go.

The phone rang and Ryan parked. I looked over at him. "You know, you won't be able to this much longer," I said.

"Why?" he asked, as if the world revolved around him.

I just smiled and shook my head as John answered the phone.

"Why!" Ryan asked infuriated.

I stuck up one finger. "Hey! Ryan and I were wondering where you were," I said, looking at Ryan.

"Front doors ,"he said casually.

"Wait!" I said, making sure I had him still.

"Yes," he said, dauntingly. "Ryan parked at the end of row E. Will he be able to keep up with that habit, when I'm around?" I asked, quickly turning on my phones speaker.

"No," John said.

Ryan balled up one of his fists and I grabbed it. "Thanks. Be up there soon," and I hung up. "Relax babycakes," I said, looking him longingly in the eyes. I could feel the muscles in his hand relax and fall open. My much smaller hand fell into his and for a moment, the world stopped moving and all I could do was look at the grasp we had. I closed my eyes and let go. Ryan opened his door got out and walked around and escorted me out. I put on my sunglasses and shut my door.

"How do you feel right now?" I asked, the October sun beating down on me. Ryan didn't respond right away. I looked at him. "Ryan?" I asked.

"Oh," he said, sighing. "I'm rather nervous. I guess. I mean, one of my best friend's sister is pregnant with my best friends baby. I'm not exactly sure if I should be happy or feel like an outsider," he said.

I wrapped my arm around his waist. "Feel happy," I said, as we approached the front doors.

"Gosh, took you long enough!" John shouted as we walked up.

"Hey. Blame mister privacy here," I laughed as Ryan tightened his grasp.

We walked through the door and up to the 2nd floor via the stairs. Pretty soon I would become so big, I wouldn't be able to take the stairs, so I would embrace every opportunity I had. Staying in shape after 4 months would be hard. My abdomen would become rather rotund and become an obstacle.

We came out on the on the pregnancy and pediatrics floor. We walked to the prenatal care area and checked in.

Ryan punched John. "Dude," John said, walking over to a chair.

I got some papers from the receptionist, "Fill these out and take them back with you, okay?" she said.

I thanked her and walked to Ryan and John. "Dude, you pinch really hard!" Ryan said, John grabbing him firmly across the seat.

I sat in the seat between the two of them. "You guys can be such children" I said as I sat down between them.

Jocks are obnoxious and there was no denying it. I began to fill out papers for the doctor. Boring, boring papers. Couldn't they just ask me these? It would be more ecofriendly. But I filled out the forms anyways. Within a few minutes I was called back into an ultrasound room. John and Ryan were notorious for not having manners, so they took both of the spots in the room and left me nowhere to sit.

I looked at John beggingly. I smiled and gestured for me to sit on his lap, so I did. The nurse took a quick glance at the odd crew I had come with and looked away, confused. I finished up the forms and gave them to the nurse.

"Doctor Michelson will be right in," she said, leaving.

"Did you see the look on her face when I sat on you?" I asked, laughing because of how ridiculous it sounded.

"Yeah," Ryan agreed. "She looked like 'What the hell?' Do we come across like that?" he asked.

I looked away from the ultrasound machine and back at Ryan. I shot him a look. John also saw my look.

"What?" he asked.

I just shook my head and smiled. If they didn't understand now, I don't think they ever would.

There was a gentle knock and the door cracked open. "Hello?" said a soothing female voice from behind the door.

"Come in!" I said back, my heart suddenly speeding up. Why I was nervous, I hadn't a clue.

She came in, turned the machine on and looked at the three of us. "Blaire Copper?" she asked.

"Yes," I said, looking at her.

"If you would please have a seat up on the table," she said, turning back to the ultrasound machine.

I got off of John's lap uneasily and sat on the table.

She studied me and instructed me to lay back and lift my shirt up.

I laid myself down up by the pillow, so my feet didn't hang off the edge and I lifted my shirt to just below my breasts.

"Miss Copper," my doctor whispered in my ear. "Which one is the dad?"

"Uh," I adjusted my voice a bit, "John, the one in the gray shirt."

"Who's the other guy?" she asked.

"Why?" I asked back.

"Because…" she said, her voice trailing off.

"He's my friend. Moral support, sorry, that was wrong of me," I said, trying to hide a laugh.

She looked at me and smiled. "It's okay," she said. "Now, this is going to be rather cold," Doctor Michelson said as she pour freezing cold goop on my lower abdomen.

She then placed the transducer on top the gel. I closed my eyes and suddenly, I heard a heartbeat.

"Oh my God," I whispered, covering my mouth. Ryan and John stood up simultaneously and looked at the monitor.

"Look at your baby," she said, softly, moving the transducer a bit to get a different view.

I smiled and looked at Ryan. 


	9. Broccoli with a side of sadness

Month Two; What the hell?

Final World Series; October 28, 2011

I sat in the dugout. We were 3 for 6. This game was the decider. The Brewers could win their first ever World Series. But rather be excited for this final game, I was stoked to see Spencer. I waited around. He promised me he would notify me as soon as he sat in his seat, then we would meet up. So I sat, and waited. The boys warmed up. They looked great; this game was going to be awesome. I looked up from my phones black screen to Ryan as he ran into the dugout.

"Man!" he said, partially out of breath. "I feel so confident today!"

I nodded. "Good for you."

He looked at me, confused by my sourpuss attitude. "What be troubling ye?" he asked. I had taught him some pirate speak, and he seemed to use it whenever he could. It always brightened the mood.

"Spencer hasn't texted me yet," I said, rushed and panic. I looked at my phone, quite literally hoping to see a light, but no such luck.

"Don't worry," Ryan said, sitting down and wrapping his arm around my shoulder. "He will," he said, rubbing my shoulder.

Then he grabbed my phone and ran out on the field.

"Ryan!" I yelled stepping on the field. I was not about to run in my condition. "Please?" I said, holding out my hand as a way of saying 'GIMME MY PHONE BACK!'

He smiled and walked over to me. I opened up and he hugged me. I embraced his warm and sweaty body and his tight but gentle grip. "Looks like someone has a text from 'Spenca', should I read it?" he asked playfully.

"No!" I shouted, yanking my phone from his very firm grip. I quickly opened the text message.

_Blaire! I finally made it in! It was absolutely CRAZY out there. Be thankful you were in Miller Park already. People even got hurt! Well, I am sitting several rows behind the Brewers dug out. Where do you want to meet? I am down with anything, maybe where they're giving away rally towels. It's only at the main gate and that's not hard to find. _

I smiled. "Ryan, I'll see you in a few," I said, walking back into the dugout, finishing my text message telling him;

_Yeah, I can find that place; see you by the main gates soon!_

The final game began within minutes. The pennant race finally drawing to a close, with little mercy to its pursuers. The Brewers were starting to feel the pressure; even Prince had a break down. It would have been a first for the Brewers. I escaped for a few small moments to see the one person who always gave me hope, Spencer. I spotted him, sweater vest in all.

"Reid!" I yelled, smiling, my eyes stinging with tears.

He slowly turned around and we peered into each other's eyes through a mess of blue and yellow. "Blaire Amanda Copper!" he shouted pushing his way through the crowd to me. The next thing I felt was his warm, inviting hug around me and tears on my cold cheek.

"Spencer," I literally cried into his sweater vest.

He pulled back and studied my splotchy face. "You're glowing," he said, unusually sensitive.

"I feel like a fat slob," I said, laughing as I dried a tear.

"You look beautiful. Strange what a pregnancy can do to a body," he said. We both stood there in an awkward silence, when Spencer perked up. He placed his left hand on my shoulder."Listen, I think you should stay here," he said out of the blue. This idea of his killed the mood of happiness abounding around us.

"But what about you?" I said, worried of losing him again. It was the last thing I needed at this point in time.

"You're in good hands with Ryan and you'll be closer to this miracles father, and I'll visit once a month. I promise. Just," he sighed and leaned in a bit closer, "At least that person quit bothering you," he said.

A light bulb went off in my head and bursted into fireworks. I was safe in Milwaukee. I was in love in Milwaukee. I hadn't been this happy since Christmas in 2002. I smiled.

"You're right. You tell anyone at the BAU?" I asked, as walked to get a bubbly beverage.

"They all know," he laughed out. "And they told me to tell you 'congratulations'!'" I smiled.

I figured becoming pregnant would have leaded me down a path of a shrunken support groups, but really, it hasn't. Lots of the Brewers and their wives all said they'd be there for me. And surprisingly, John's soon to be ex wife said she was there for me. We met by accident as she was leaving John's house and I was going there for a meeting with him, Ryan and couple other guys. She offered to meet up and have coffee a few weeks later. I took her up on the offer and we met at Starbucks. She told me that she and John didn't love each other anymore. They really had just married for their daughter, Ellia. She also told me about the relationship the two shared. John was not always the most supportive guy in the whole wide world. It worried me a bit, but as soon as I saw John again, all my doubts disappeared.

We stood in line for 10 minutes, but eventually, I got the icy cold beverage I wanted. It didn't seem to be an unusual craving. Even before I became pregnant, I seemed to crave soda.

"I'm also here to watch the game," he said, after a long silence of slurping Diet Cokes.

"And I probably should get back to the dugout," I said. "See you after the game?"

He nodded. I gave him a quick hug and walked away. Spencer walked back to his seat, quickly and quietly, but suddenly, he fell to the ground and was taken away, right in the middle of a crowd too.

I made it back to the dugout, the game was still scoreless, but Ryan was up to bat and Corey was on second base. The ball was pitched and that sucker was out of here. The park went absolutely nuts. We were in the lead. One step closer to winning. Ryan ran into the dugout and everyone erupted in cheers. I sat in the corner, looking out, happy for the boys. Ryan spotted me and darted over.

"Oh my word!" he shouted, hugging me, "Did you see that!"

I nodded excitedly. "Good job!" I said.

He leaned into to me and whispered "I hit it, just special for you," Ryan whispered quietly into my ear. I wrapped my arms around his neck and inhaled his sent. He smelled like dirt. I could live with it though. Prince hit a homerun and then Nyjer and Betancourt struck out. We had a step ahead of the other team, though.

The first inning ended and it was time to play some defense. Nine of the best on the team ran out and prepared to crush the offense in its tracks, or so I hoped. After Grienke struck out the first batter, the second batter came up. During that time Spencer called.

"Hey dude!" I said playfully, expecting a response as equally as playful. It was silent for a moment; I heard a punch, a yelp and Spencer came on the phone.

"Goodbye" he said quietly and the phone called ended.

"Spencer," I said quietly. "Spence!" I said, louder than before. I hung up and called again. It was off. Whoever it was, they were back and ready to ruin my life. My jaw dropped and I sat in the corner not sure if I should get help, cry or sleep. Sleep away this last half of the day, possibly. Pretend like nothing of this violent nature happened.

Zack struck out the next two batters and Jerry suited up. Jonathan was the first to spot me in my troubled state and walked to me.

"What's wrong?" he asked, sitting next to me and wrapping his sweaty arm around me.

"Spencer," I managed to whisper, tears pouring down. Pregnancy also makes you cry at everything. But I didn't think I was overreacting. A normal person would cry in the situation.

"What about Spencer?" he asked.

"He called," I swallowed back some tears, "said goodbye and hung up and when I called him back, his phone was off," I bit my lower lip.

John just looked at me. "Watch the game. Maybe his phone died," John suggested kindly.

I shook my head. "No, no," I said forcefully.

"Why not?"

"I heard punching, a Spencer scream and he said goodbye," I said.

John hugged me. I sobbed as quietly as I could into his shoulder. I pulled back, his hand gently stopping on my slowly growing abdomen. "Anything I can do?" he asked. I pressed my forehead against his and sighed. I didn't ever want to leave, but, realistically, I needed to go. This embrace we shared would never happen again, so I savored every last second of it. I bent forward and kissed him. I stood up and left. I got into the main area, now to hunt down a cop. Ryan approached John. "What's bothering her?" he asked.

"It was Spencer," he said, putting on his batting gloves.

"What about him?" Ryan questioned back.

"She thinks he's in trouble and I don't blame her. From the way she described it, he could be in serious trouble."

"Where is she now?"

John shrugged his shoulders. Ryan huffed a bit as Jonathan put on the protective cap for when he goes up to go bat. Ryan jogged over to Shaun who was standing over by the tunnel.

"Marcum, you see Blaire?" he asked peering about.

"Yeah," he said. "She was in a complete fluster."

Ryan darted down the hallway. "Blaire!" he shouted, and before he could move a step forward, he was swarmed by a plethora of people. "Please," he said kindly, pushing his way through. "Blaire!" he shouted again, jogging out.

I heard the faint shout. "Hello!" I yelled, hoping it to be Spencer.

"Blaire!" they shouted again. I stopped dead in my tracks, people veering around me.

"Spencer?" I yelled.

Around the bend came Ryan. "Ryan?" I said, even more perplexed.

"What do you think you're doing?" he asked, walking towards me.

"Getting help, Spencer is in grave danger!" I shouted grabbing his hand.

"Whoa," Ryan said stopping me.

"What?" I said agitated.

"Are you sure he's in trouble?" I glared at him.

"What?" he asked innocently. _Don't play Mister Innocent with me!_

I pulled out my phone and called Garcia. "Hey baby mama," she said cheerfully, "What can I do for you?"

"Can you track Spencer's phone?" I spat out quickly.

"What? Why?" she questioned.

"I think he's in trouble," I said, quietly.

"Sure dear," she said, her voice fading off.

I stared Ryan in the eyes. He grabbed my waist and held me close. My heart started racing. I looked to a TV. It was beginning of the fourth inning, Brewers still ahead.

"Blaire, he seems to be up on the roof of Miller Park," she said, confused.

I blinked. "What?" I asked. How did he manage to make it on the roof? Either that or Spencer was in serious danger, and there was little I could do about it.

"That's where his cell phone is, did he lose it?" she asked, perplexed as I was.

"No. Garcia, what..." I stuttered. "What's wrong?" I asked. "What's going on? I am really worried."

The end of the line was quiet for a few moments. "Go get help, call me if you need anything else," she said, tenderly.

I thanked her and hung up. "I need to find a cop," I said, walking away.

"Blaire, wait!" he called after me.

"Don't you have to go back to the game?"

"I care about Spence too," he said.

"No. Get back to the game," I said, pushing him away a bit.

"Let me get you at least to a cop," he said, walking around ahead of me. He grabbed my hand and pulled me along. I squeezed his hand in disagreement. Nyjer was on the final pitch before either a strike or a walk occurred.

"Where the hell is Braun?" Ron Roenicke shouted.

"He left and went after Blaire," Shaun said casually. "Oh boy. What do we do?" he asked as he came to his senses.

"I am going to talk to the other coach," Ron said leaving the dugout.

"And it appears Ron Roenicke has left the dugout!" an announcer said, over enthusiastically. "And it seems he's in the other teams dugout!" he continued.

"Excuse me!" Ryan shouted. A cop looked over at us.

"Yes," he said, confused by Ryan's presence.

"Hold on, you know the story, I'll be back," I said, leaving. I walked to the stands. Ron was really in the opposing team's dugout. I looked around, maybe a clue as to why he was in there. Suddenly it hit me. Ryan was up to bat. I back away and ran to Ryan. "Dude. You're up to bat," I said.

Ryan's eyes grew huge.

"We're right on it. We can give Blaire a call when we have more info."

"Thanks!" Ryan and I said in unison. He pulled me down through the home plate stand and around to a low area not netted in and we hopped it. Ron exited the other dugout.

"Ryan!" he shouted. "What's going on?" he asked.

Ryan pushed me towards the dugout and I walked in. As soon as I stopped at the last step, all that happened was silence and staring at me. "Ryan was helping me. This is my entire fault. Don't blame him," I said, after a long, awkward moment of silence. The pitching coach approached me.

"Get out," he said, under his breath.

"Yes sir," I said running out of the dugout and back to where I came in. I went by the vendors and paced back and forth. I did that forever it seemed. I worried about everything. Spencer, Ryan, John, my baby. My phone vibrated with an unknown number. I let it ring twice then hit the green button.

"Hello, Blaire," they said.

I stopped dead in tracks. "Hi," I said.

"I have a surprise for you come out by home plate," they said then hung up.

I hung up and walked to home plate. Then out of nowhere, I heard screams and body fell to the ground from the roof. I screamed also. It was Reid. I ran to him.

"Spencer," I said as the crowd went to silent.

"Hey Blaire," he said, grabbing my hand. "I can't feel anything below my bellybutton," he said laughing.

"I love you, Spencer," I said. He let go of my hand and placed it on my belly. "Raise this baby well. Please."

I covered his hand with mine. "I promise," I said. He coughed violently. "Someone! Help!" I shouted. "Please," I looked back at Spencer who had stopped coughing and moving at all for that matter.

"Spence," I whispered weakly, due to my overwhelming need to cry. The paramedics rushed over and checked his vitals. One looked up at me and shook her head. I stood there for a minute. I looked over to the dugout, my eyes clouded with tears. "No!" I screamed, falling to my knees. I sat and covered my eyes. Spencer was dead. Why? Tears streamed from my eyes, pooled in my palms and slowly fell down my arms. I wiped up a bit and I eased myself down and cried into the dirt. Not moving sounded pretty good, but I felt a gentle nudge. I didn't want to look up. I wanted to lay here forever.

"Blaire," the voice said. I heard a few footsteps and someone squatted in front of me. It was John. He pulled me up and held me close. "I am so sorry," he said. I gripped his jersey and let it all out.

"John, I want to die. I really do!" I shouted. John stroked my hair.

"Let's get you back to Ryan's," he said into my hair. One of the trainers was a as kind enough to drive me back to Ryan's. I walked inside, plopped on the couch and stared at a charming photo of Ryan, Jamison and Spencer. I lost 2/3 people in that picture. I hate death. I hated God at this point. Why would he take such wonderful people from me? I dug around for the remote and realized I craved some broccoli. I hated broccoli. 


	10. Let the Bonding Commence

Month 3: Broken and Beloved 

My craving for broccoli never seemed to cease. Thanksgiving was soon approaching and I was becoming larger. John said I seem to beam and Ryan says I look gorgeous. If only I felt that way on the inside. On the inside, I felt like crying, all the time. I also felt like puking AND eating at the same time. Strange feelings. Without Spencer, I felt like I was living with this void that needed to be filled.

During my three month appointment, all seemed to be well. John gave me a ride back to his place for dinner and movie. It was a fairly nice supper. He fixed us some Alfredo, with broccoli. Not only my favorite food, but also satisfied my strange craving for broccoli. Since it wasn't too horribly cold out, John cracked open the window and let the low, yet calming autumn breeze in. I shivered in its wake. John fidgeted with the DVD player. Soon, he figured it out and sat next to me. I may have been wearing my warmest sweatshirt, but I was still freezing. While the previews rolled, John turned to me, "Blaire, Uhm, have you given thought to any names?" he asked me casually.

I cuddled deeper into his armpit, which wasn't all that nasty. "Not yet, but I really want a boy," I chuckled.

John looked down at me. "Now why do you want a boy?" he asked, pulling me closer.

"I don't really know, I guess I have always wanted a boy," I said, pulling my sweatshirt sleeves over my bare hands. "Force him to play baseball," I said, poking John's abs.

He grabbed my finger. "Blaire," he said, his voice fading off, as if he didn't agree with me. "If that child doesn't play baseball, I'll have a sit down chat with you," he said, kissing my forehead.

"Don't worry," I said.

The movie played. I obviously cried at the movie, it was Pearl Harbor. John chuckled a bit at my sensitivity but always kept me close. After the movie was over, around 10:30, he took me back to Ryan's, which was my permanent residence.

I said my goodnights to Ryan and got ready for bed. Eventually, I crawled in to bed and fell asleep. My thoughts suddenly exploded and my mind was racing. I wasn't ready to be a mom. I couldn't close my eyes without thinking of my one friend that I had, and how he was gone from my life. I missed Spencer like crazy. He held me together and I felt as each day passed, my mind slowly began to fall more and more apart. Eventually, I eased into a slumber and slept like a baby.

My alarm never went off. By the time I woke up, it was 10:30am. I sat up and looked around my slowly filling room. My vanity was covered in perfumes and make-up. I also bought a rocker, because I love rockers. I crawled out of bed and dug for a casual outfit. I had nothing to do today for a change, so I went and sat out on my tiny, yet humbling patio. I curled up and looked out over Milwaukee.

Ryan walked into my room and came on to the porch and sat on the foot rest.

"Good morning, Blaire," he said, grabbing my knee.

"Hey bud," I said.

"I, Uhm, I shut off your alarm," he confessed.

I started laughing. I choked back a couple laughs. "Why?" I managed to laugh out.

"Because, you've been through a lot," he said. "Sleeping in would have been good for you." He said caringly.

I stood up and hugged him. "Thank you, It felt nice. Are we doing anything today?" I asked.

"No, nothing really, Jonathan said he may drop by, but he wasn't sure," he said .

I nodded and left. This was about to be the most unproductive day, ever. I finally mustered the strength to log on Ryan's laptop. Ever since Spencer was killed, I was super worried to use a computer. The thought of this person could track Ryan and I down and kill us, scared me. But I finally mustered the strength to do so.

I first checked my Facebook, which was my addiction in high school. Facebook was my only way of communicating with my friends and my new notifications well exceeded 250. I checked all of them. Most were just friends saying and checking up on me. Most didn't have a clue I was pregnant so I posted a quick status about it and checked Twitter. Twitter was my new obsession. It's less clogged on twitter. But nonetheless, I posted what I had posted on Facebook and logged off. I x'ed out of safari and stared at Ryan's back drop. His Mac was new and white and the picture looked crisp against the white border. Ryan came out and stood over me.

"Here," he mumbled, clicking around until up popped photobooth.

"Ryan," I whined cutely. I felt ugly. I didn't need any pictures taken of me at this point.

"C'mon," he said, gently pushing me from my seat, taking it and pulling me back on his lap.

"Smile!" he said slapping the keyboard. Oh, the awkward bonding moments between Ryan and I.

The next day was much more planned out. Ryan decided since I was living with him that we furnish my room with more baby stuff. I tried to explain to him that was what a baby shower was for, but he didn't want to hear it.

Ryan took me to John's and he tagged along too. Living with Ryan and John weirded me out at times. Yet, I felt so loved. Since I didn't want to know what I was having, I picked out neutral colors. Brown colored stroller, and of course, I did my best to find accessories in navy blue and gold, for the Brewers. Eventually, we departed from the stored and the muscle men in the group (John and Ryan) loaded up Ryan's car and drove back to his place. And again, the so generously carried all the stuff up. By the time all of the baby's stuff was up into the living room, it was around 5:30. While the boys cooled off, I made them a quick meal of steaks. They chowed down and we quickly got to work assembling the baby's room.


	11. Ignored

Month 4; Tired of this  
>Christmas time. Ryan was back in California and John was in Louisiana visiting his daughter. I was left alone for the holidays which saddened me. Until Christmas day, I had spent the last few weeks of the month of joy and cheer, alone.<p>

I spent the morning of Christmas Day cleaning. After I had cleaned every inch of Ryan's place, I sat down to read a new book. It had belonged to Spencer. At about noon, I heard a violent knock at the door. I slowly closed my book and pushed myself up. I waddled to the door and took peek.

"We know you're in there Blaire!" Prince shouted.

I relaxed and opened the door. "Scare me, why don't ya!"

Prince, Zack, George and Craig walked in bearing delicious smelling food.

I smiled,"Guys, you didn't have to!"

"Ah, but we did!" Zack said quickly.

My holiday week was brightened and made to feel like Christmas. All four of us chowed down and played Craig's vintage 1980's Trivial Pursuit. It was a night to remember.

By the time our last round of Trivial Pursuit was done, it was almost 10:30pm, and the boys thought it be best to let me be for the night. I thanked them and they left.

I shut the door and strolled into the kitchen, surveying the mess of dishes I had to do before Ryan came home. I emptied out the sink and ran hot water into it, mixing soap with it. Suds began to develop and soon it looked like a winter wonderland. I turned off the water and slowly dipped my hands in, my body shivered. I threw a couple plates in and began to scrub. By 11:15, I was done and I was so wore out, I fell asleep as soon as sat at the kitchen table.

I awoke the next morning in my bed and at 9:30am. Perplexed, I wandered out into the living room and there sat Ryan and John.

"Hey, you two," I said, walking over into the kitchen to get a glass of water. "What brings you home on December 26th?" I placed the cup under the ice machine and few cubes dropped into the water, splashing it on my hands. I used my free hand to wipe the drops off.

"I don't know about Ryan here, but I came home early to see you," he said, elbowing Ryan. They both let out a manly laugh. Ryan stood up and walked over towards me.

"And plus, we heard there were some delicious leftovers from yesterday..." he smiled. I hugged him back.

"Glad to see that you're both home," I said, pulling out of the hug to greet the approaching Jonathan. John grabbed me, and held me tightly.

"If there was anything I regretted this holiday season, it was by me not spending it with you," he said into my hair.

He always managed to make me smile. "I missed you so much, also," I said into his broad chest.

There was a loud ding and John pulled out his phone. "Oh my word," he said, upset.

"Whats wrong?" I asked kindly, my arms still around his waist.

"Marcum feels the need to text me, the day after Christmas and ask if he and I can practice. What a fu -"

"Hey now," I said, poking his abs. "One, no swearing around the developing baby. And two, go. You could use it." I quickly covered my mouth. "It's not like you're bad! Just..ugh..."

"I get what you mean, Blaire. Stop stumbling over your words," he said. We gave each other a final hug and he left.

"I guess it's just me and you now," Ryan commented quietly.

I pointed at my protruding abdomen.

"And the baby," he corrected himself. "Say, since we haven't talked in a few weeks, why don't we catch up, tell me what you did." he said, pulling me into the dining room. We sat at the table. I looked awkwardly into my cup.

"Well, I spent most of the time cleaning, sleeping or watching the Foodnetwork. What did you do?"

"Well, let's see. I had a family reunion, and I saw some old friends. Like Mark and, even cooler, Anna!"

"Anna?" I asked, trying to hide the jealousy on my voice. I took a sip to stop me from saying anything stupid.

"Yeah! She and I dated awhile back, but man, she was looking pretty good this past week," he said, completely oblivious to me and my feelings.

"But, she's in a relationship with Mark, right?" I asked, trying to calm myself.

"No!" he responded.

I sat back in my seat. "She's not?"

"Single and ready to mingle, and she's coming out to Milwaukee!" he shouted with joy. "She should be here, actually, very soon!"

Like clock work, the doorbell rang. "I betcha that's her!" he shouted for joy, getting up and opening the door. I slowly followed. There, behind the door stood the most stunning woman I had ever seen. She was skinny, buy had graceful curves. Her jet black hair was braided off to the side and was wearing no make up.

"Good evening, Anna," he said tenderly. She reached up and kissed him. Passionately. There was no doubting they were still in love.

I coughed to try and break up the awkward moment. "Ryan," I said quietly.

He slowly pulled back. "Right," he said, unenthusiastically. "This is my roomie, Blaire."

"Is that your baby?" she asked, disgust apparent in her valley girl voice.

"Oh, no no, don't worry, it's my teammates," Ryan said, kissing her again.

"You have fun with Slutty McWhorebag, I'm going to bed," I said under my breath and I walked into my room. I went to bed, upset and tired, tired of the way those baseball playing players have been treating me, and it's only just begun.


	12. 23 Weeks

Month 5; Chaos and Isolationism

The Roaring Twenties, noted for the extreme lack of international affairs, was certainly how I was feeling. Isolated. My friends, who I missed dearly, were all back in Quantico. John was too busy with practicing and Ryan was with Slutty McWhorebag, or as he called her Anna. Isolated. I spent most of my days at home or out getting items the house needed. It was depressing. January. The winter seemed to drag on. I couldn't handle any more of this. I emailed a friend, Emily Prentiss, and she came and drove me home for a few weeks.

I arrived in Quantico. I couldn't help but to smile stupidly and let out a sigh of relief.

"Happy to be home?" She asked, opening the front door to her home.

"You have no idea," I said, sitting down on her couch.

"Does... oh what's his face... Douche bag one and two know you're out here?" she asked, chuckling.

"I'm sure they do now..." I sighed, but suddenly, I smiled. I realized it was okay, that is, until my phone rang.

It was John.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Where are you?" he shouted. "Ryan and I are worried sick!"

"I'm not in Milwaukee," I said, quietly and hung up.

"You okay?" Emily asked.

"Yeah, I'm just fine," I said. "Say, tomorrow, can you take me to see Garcia? I miss her..."

"Sure thing, now, you can have the guest room," she said.

I stood up and she showed me down a hallway.

"Tomorrow, we can visit her," she said. "Good night."

"Night," I replied politely.

A few weeks passed, Jonathan and Ryan had called me multiple times, but I continued to ignore their calls. I decided it was best for me to go home. Emily gladly drove me home.

I walked into Ryan's apartment, wore out, to find Ryan, John and Anna.

"What the hell!" were the very first words out of Ryan's mouth.

He stormed up to me, and was tempted to slap me across the face, but he held it together.

Anna slowly strolled up and held Ryan around his waist, smacking her gum loudly, "Save your energy babe, for tonight."

"Right," he said, kissing her.

"Oh god," I said, I slow-motion sprinted to the bathroom to barf.

I puked.

"Wait, Blaire," Ryan called after me.

Anna grabbed Ryan's arm. "She just wants your attention."

He stared into her eyes for a moment and kissed her. "You're right," he agreed.

John shook his head and walked to the bathroom.

"Listen, Blaire, I and I think Ryan was too, we were worried sick about you. We want the best for you and this baby here," he said, tenderly, placing his hand on my abdomen.

I reached over from my seated position and shut the door.

"I don't know what's up with Ryan, but if it bugs you, you can stay with me. Trust me, I do not like Anna what so ever," he said. I smiled.

He slowly pressed his forehead against mine.

"I'm crazy about you," I said.

He pressed his lips against mine, his scruffy face rubbing against my delicate face.

We pulled back and I glanced away.

"What's wrong?" he asked, holding my hand.

I looked at him, tears running down my cheeks. "Sometimes, I think you love your sport more than me..." I sniffled, "And you can't prove my statement incorrect."

He stared at me, quietly, doing nothing. "You're so amazing," he said, positioning himself in front of me. "Whatever it takes," he said quietly, inching towards my face.

"Let me move in, temporarily. I cannot handle Anna," I sighed.

John cradled my cheek in his large catchers hand. "I'd love to have you around more." He said, kissing me, again. This time, more forcefully. I kissed him back. Our lips parted and we pressed our foreheads together.

"Lets go," he whispered and stood up. He held out his hand and pulled me up, very gently.

I began to stand up when there was a sharp, sudden pain in my abdomen. I let go of John's hand and fell back down.

"Oh my God," I said, holding my hand against my belly.

"Blaire," John said. "Are you okay?"

I screamed.

"I'll take that as a no," he said. "I'm calling 911."

I nodded, tears running down my cheeks.

Ryan came storming in, "What's going on?" he inquired forcefully, Anna in tow.

"I'm not sure," John said.

I awoke the next afternoon in a hospital bed, surrounded by John and a nurse.

"Ahh, I see that you're awake," she said, chipper. "Let me get Doctor Martin!"

I nodded slightly and the nurse left. John approached me.

"Kiddo, that was one hell of a night," he said, sadness in his voice and upon his face.

"What happened?" I asked calmly. Then I saw it. My belly was still there. I was confused.

"I am not sure," he said, grabbing my hand.

A nurse walked in, shortly followed by a doctor. The nurse went about doing her busniess, checking my vitals, but the doctor approached.

"Hello Blaire," she said crowding around my bed. "You will be okay and so will your baby. You just need to not sit on the floor. That's all. We'll be discharging you soon."

I let out a huge sigh of relief as the nurse pulled all the IV's and monitors from my body. And I was sent home.


	13. The Move

**School's done! Now for some writing! **

Month 6; Newbies

I never moved in with John, however I spent every waking moment with him when he wasn't at practice. By mid-February John was spending a lot of his time working out and with the team in general. I spent many lonely nights in Ryan's apartment, listening to his strange moaning and sirens speeding along the busy Milwaukee roads. My life was slowing down for the moment.

I conveniently woke up at the crack of dawn one morning to a kick.

"Hey now," I whispered, my voice kind of raspy.

I grabbed my phone to check the time. 5:05 am. _Great, what is there to do at 5 in the morning?_ I decided I make myself a delicious and nutritious breakfast, since I hadn't in ages, and possibly make a quick phone call to Garcia. Scratch the nutritious part. I made French toast, which brought a heavy a burden. It may have been my favorite food, but it was also the only food that I typically cooked with Jamison and Spencer.

I ate my French toast in silence, slurping down milk occasionally. I stared at my empty plate, remembering all the memories I had had with those boys. I went over to wash the dishes when Ryan's bedroom door opened. Out strolled the infamous Slutty McWhorebag.

"Why the hell are you up so early?" she questioned me, opening the fridge.

"Oh, just the baby," I replied quietly, rinsing off my plate and placing it off on the drying rack.

"Right, listen girl, I don't appreciate you living on this pad with Ryan when he's got a girlfriend so get out, okay," she said, directly in my face.

I didn't reply. I just looked at her, making sure not to break eye contact before her.

She threw up her nose and walked back into the bedroom.

I couldn't believe what happened. I was being kicked out. Did Ryan tell her to do that? I couldn't take another day of her, and not to mention, his bullshit. I peered at the clock in the living room. It was already 7 and John was going to pick me up to take me to meet some of the new people from triple A.

I quick changed and went down to meet him.

"Morning beautiful," he said, kissing my cheek.

"Hey John," I said quietly, sadness drenched on me.

"Wait, before I open this door, you have to tell me what's bothering you!" he said.

"It's just Ryan, can I explain in the car?" I asked, wiping away a tear.

"Of course you can," he said, helping me into the car. John quick ran around the front and got into the driver's seat. "So what's going on?"

"Ryan's girlfriend is kicking me out…" I said quietly, tracing circles on my abdomen. "I can't find any friends, someone to love, or a place to live.."

John rubbed my back. "Listen, I know it's tough. I'd like to be with you but…"

I was quick to cut him off. "I get it."

John and I had sat down a few weeks ago and decided our relationship, or what we had at the time wasn't going to work out. He was still madly in love with his wife and they mutually called off the divorce. His wife was even as kind as to let me hang out with him whenever I needed a friend. And today was one of those days.

"So there's fresh meat at Miller Park?" I asked.

"Oh yeah!" he exclaimed with joy, I met one that I think you could be friends with too!"

I sighed. "Yay," I cheered, unenthusiastically.

"Come on, you will," he said, pulling me into Miller Park.

"Still don't believe you," I said.

We walked into the locker room, my _favorite _part of Miller Park. Standing in front of me was three young boys, close to my age. Two were Hispanic and one was white.

"Blaire, I'd like you to met Edwin, Martín, and Taylor, possibly some people you could get along with!"

_If only._

I glared at him and greeted the boys with a pleasant smile. "Hello!" I couldn't help but to notice them, glance down at my belly. "Hey, come here," I whispered.

They looked at each other and huddled in. "Its John's. And I'm currently homeless. So. That's me. What about y'all?"

"We're not Americans," Edwin commented quietly.

I gave him a confused look. "Half the people on this team aren't…" I paused. "So you'll fit right on in! Where are you from, Edwin?"

"Martín and I are from Puerto Rico," he said, shockingly calm.

"Alrighty. And what about the stud muffin here?" I asked, looking at Taylor.

"Comox," he said, crossing his arms.

"Goddamn Canadians," I mumbled. "John! Really!" I shouted, drastically changing my voice.

"What?" he chuckled.

"Remember, I only drive American made," I commented.

He just smiled and patted my back.

"So, follow me, I'm going to tell you a few things you may possibly need to know." I said, walking out into the dugout and on to the field. "Number One, This is your house, so make it look good. Play well, and this place will be filled to the brim. Play like a pansy? Well. You may end up playing for the Cubs. Number two, Stay off facebook. Who cares if your wife or little sister has one, you don't get one. Number three, Don't fall in love with a fan," I stopped and looked at my feet. That's where I went wrong. I was the fan, falling deeply in love with two baseball players who I didn't stand a chance to be with. These boys, they were young, they have futures and they looked liked they cared. I didn't want at least another three girls suffering my fate.

"Are you okay?" Taylor asked me after a long silence.

I wiped away a tear and smiled. "Just dandy," I said, pointing to the slide. "Please hit some home runs, Bernie needs to keep fit, Oh and one more thing, stay healthy and safe, we need you."

"Pleasure to meet you," Edwin said, shaking my hand.

"Yeah, it's was," Martín commented.

"I never caught your name," Taylor mumbled.

"Blaire. Blaire Copper, and You're Taylor William Andrew Green. I know. I know. I don't miss much," I said.

"Don't think me forward, but would you like to go out to dinner or something, I mean, you seem to have a lot of insight about this ball club, and I'd like to learn more," he said.

"Only on one condition," I said, pointing my finger at him. "Can I move in?"

"Oh, I thought I was forward," he said, laughing a bit.

"I'm serious."

"Sure. I'll talk to you when we're done here, okay?" he said, smiling.

I nodded.

I didn't even know this kid, and I was moving in with him. The only thing I could keep telling myself was "_This better not be a mistake…"_


	14. Skype and Emily

**Month 7; a very green household**

Life had worked itself out. Almost. However, it was March and that meant spring training and many lonely nights. Taylor and I had become very good friends over the past several weeks, but he had to leave right away at the beginning of March. Their first game of the season was a home game, so he'd be back, the first week of April, however, I was still lonely.

Taylor's place was much different than Ryan's. Ryan's was messy unless I had cleaned it, and it was tiny. Taylor managed to score one of the best apartments in Milwaukee. Lake front and massive. The apartment had two bedrooms, each overlooking the lake. There was two bathrooms, both unique in style. The living room and dining room were basically the same room and the kitchen was big enough for a pregnant woman to cook. And his apartment was miraculously clean, all of the time.

One beautiful evening, I was reading an Edgar Allen Poe book on the patio facing the lake, when I heard a loud knock on the door. I hadn't invited anyone over and it was well past any delivery time, I nervously got up and looked in the peep hole. To my surprise it was Emily Prentiss.

"Hey Emily!" I said, opening the door.

"Hello," she said somberly.

"Uh, how did you know I was here?" I asked.

"You know what I do for a living. May I come in?" she asked.

I nodded and let her in, gently closing the door behind her. "What brings you here?" I asked.

"Garcia said you didn't have anyone to be with for a month, so I figured I'd drop by, keep you company, help out. Whatever. And plus I needed a break from work," she said.

"Do you want some sleep? You can have my bed for the time being, I'll sleep in Taylor's. He won't be needing it anytime soon," I chuckled.

"Sure," she said. "Oh, they're shipping my luggage. It was placed on the wrong plane," she added.

"That's unfortunate," I said, leading her to my bedroom. She went in and literally passed out as soon as she hit the pillow. Jet lag gets a person. It was 9pm, so it was 8pm in Arizona. I hopped on my lap top and made a skype call to Taylor.

"Hey Taylor!" I shouted as soon as he answered.

"Hey Blaire! How is my favorite roomie?" he asked.

"Just wonderful. How is my favorite utility infielder?" I asked back.

He nodded. "Pretty good. I just got out of the shower, so, I'm just relaxing in my hotel room right now. I unfortunately have to share with this guy," he said as he panned the computer to a waving George Kottaras.

"Hi George," I said, waving back.

Taylor turned the computer back to himself. "Oh, John and Ryan want to know how the baby and you are doing?" he said.

"I am well, and so is the baby. I found out the gender last week," I said, smiling.

"Oh! Do tell!" he said, excitedly.

"It's a boy. And I'm thinking Leland Allen Copper. I like it. Do you?" I asked.

"Yeah, it's a great name," he said, quietly.

"You don't like it, do you," I said.

He smiled and shook his head.

"Alright. Well, what do you think I should name him?" I asked, playfully, leaning back and putting my hand on my belly.

"Leland William Copper," he said.

"Hmm, that's cute too," I said. "Listen, I'd love to talk more, but I have stuff to do and you probably want to relax."

"I don't mind talking to you, bud. Don't think that," he said.

"Hurry back," I said quietly.

"I will be, before you know it," he said.

I gave a final wave and shut off the computer. I loved John and Ryan, but I think the tables were turning. I was falling for another baseball player. I couldn't bear doing something so stupid again. I didn't want to destroy the wonderful friendship I had developed with Taylor, so I decided to start keeping my distance

**A few weeks later**

Finally, March was almost over. However, I still had a little less than a week to go. Emily had a day left with me. She helped my get my room ready for the baby, ended up looking better than Ryan's place. I wondered what Ryan and Anna had done with my baby stuff… Knowing the two whores, they probably burned it.

The afternoon before Emily had to go, she confessed she was also here on business. I suddenly remembered my past, which I had tried so hard to forget.

"Blaire, the man who broke into your home may possibly be out to get you again," she said, taking a drink of her tea.

"What do you mean?" I said.

"I came here to protect you," she said. "There have been some disturbing messages being left at your old apartment and at the BAU. You cannot be alone," she commented. "I have to go back to the BAU and Taylor won't be back for a few more days, but you need to stay home, keep the doors and windows locked, keep the lights as low as possible, please," she said.

I nodded.

Emily stood up and offered her hand out to shake. "I have to go, I had a good time and please keep quiet, Taylor will be back soon enough," she said, grabbing her bags and leaving. I locked the door behind her.

I went to my computer and saw another missed Skype call from Taylor. I figure I had kept my distance long enough. I answered.

"Hey Taylor," I said quietly.

"Hey! Blaire, it's been like two weeks. Where the hell did you go?" he asked, upset.

"I have been busy. Nesting is what it's called. My room isn't my room anymore," I said, smiling.

"Really?"

"Yeah, you'll get to see it when you come back, say, is John around?" I asked.

"Mhm, he and George are talking like little girls as we speak, would you like to chat with him?" he asked.

I nodded. There was some shouting and John's face appeared on my screen. "Hello!" he greeted cheerfully!

"Hey John, I need help," I said. "Check your phone."

I had texted him "John, I think I'm falling again. I am beginning to like Taylor. I cannot, CANNOT let this happen again. Like with you and Ryan. What should I do?"

"Blaire, listen, whatever will happen, will happen. Don't force it, but don't push it. Okay. Cyber hug?"

"Cyber hug!"

The screen went back on Taylor. "What was that all about?" he asked.

"Just me, being a girl, and being pregnant," I said, smiling at him.

"Are you okay?" he asked, laughing

"Yeah, I am. I cannot wait to see you. But, I think I'm going to read this and sleep," I said, holding up _What to Expect When You're Expecting_.

"Oh. You enjoy that. I'll see you in like, 3 days or so?" he said.

"You betcha," I said.


	15. Rain Check

**Month 8 (part one); Another win**

**Please, check out the world's greatest editor and author, SWfangirl21. She is so...awesome. Here's a link to her page. You better check her out! :)**

It was the beginning of April and Taylor was finally back. Sure I missed John, but Taylor was my roommate. He kept me busy and entertained. And, even better, the baseball season had finally started.  
>First game of the season and I had a seat for me in the dugout. I couldn't have been any more excited. Except for the fact I had my two favorite boys with me again.<br>The day of the first game was as intense as any other. The boys were stoked and in the zone. It was a perfect, sunny day. The roof was open, allowing some sun to shine down on us.  
>Right before the game started, Taylor approached me.<br>"Excited?" I asked.  
>He nodded. "Of course I am. It's baseball!"<br>I agreed. "Hit me a home run today."  
>"What do I get if I hit a homerun?"<br>Smiling, I gave the offer, "A back massage."  
>"Deal," he accepted, graciously shaking my hand.<br>"Hey, can you send John my way really quick?" I asked.  
>He nodded and headed down to get John. He was already adorned in his catcher's gear, his face mask tucked under his armpit.<br>"You wanted me?"  
>"I always want you," I confessed, laughter bubbling up from inside of my chest.<br>He pulled me into a secure hug, "Yeah. I know."  
>"John, stay safe." I pleaded, my eyes staring into his.<br>He kissed my forehead and went out on the field. The game finally started. The crowds' shouts were insane. It was a slow 5 innings. The Astros were up 3-0. We were up to bat. Bases loaded with two outs. Taylor's turn. _Oh no. _He had called two strikes. Even from far away I noticed how nervous he was and I was nervous enough for the both of us. His third pitch, the bat made contact with a loud crack and that ball soared through the air and disappeared into the stands.  
>I stood up and threw my fists in the air. "TAYLOR!" I screamed as he ran into the dugout.<br>"So that means I get a massage, right?" he asked, trying to hold me around my waist.  
>"Yes! And so much more, a dinner, and an extra long massage and … and…"<br>He cut me off. "What about a kiss?"  
>I gave him a long hard look before the inning ended, but I never kissed him. The game went on, and in the end, it was in the Brewers' favor. Oh the interviews that followed, Taylor and I didn't leave until around 1 in the morning, and boy was I exhausted. My eyes were falling slowly and my feet were sore.<br>As we approached his apartment a feeling of security and relaxation washed over me.  
>A sigh of contentment escaped my lips, "I'm glad to be home."<br>"Oh, yeah," he agreed, stepping out of the car. I watched him circle around the front of the car and open the door for me. "Here you go.."  
>I grasped his hand and hopped out. Taylor grabbed his stuff from the back and we strolled into his apartment, his arm around my shoulder.<br>"Can I take a rain check on that massage?" he asked, pushing a button to get on the elevator.  
>"I was hoping you would ask," I informed him, texting John. We dragged our feet to his front door and we were immediately encased in a cool rush of air.<br>Taylor strolled into the kitchen for a glass of water. I leaned against the island.  
>"I am so sore. This baby just needs to come, now," I commented.<br>"I am so very thankful that guys don't get pregnant," he confessed, laughing.  
>"Now that's not very funny," I mumbled as he came up and hugged me.<br>"I know it's not," he nodded at my accusation.  
>I rested my head on his chest, listening to his heart beat a solid rhythm.<br>"You know, you're not so bad."  
>"I'm not?" I asked, not lifting my head up.<br>"Nope, hey, let me show you something," he said, grabbing my hand and pulling me into his bedroom. He walked on the side of his bed, and dug around in a drawer. After a couple of minutes of searching, he pulled out a beautiful necklace.  
>"My word," I gasped, studying the pretty gem. "Where did you get that?"<br>"Since I was an only child, my mom gave this to me to give to a girl. But not just any girl, but a girl that I care deeply about," he recalled, turning me around carefully placing the necklace around my neck. "You look, beautiful," he whispered.  
>"Thank you."<br>"Where's my kiss?" he teased playfully.  
>"Right here," I smiled, getting up on my tiptoes and kissing his lips, tenderly.<br>I pulled back and he ran his fingers through my hair. "I can't believe anyone would ever want to not be with you," he said, kissing my forehead.  
>"Taylor, this may be the pregnancy talking, but, I think I may like you," the confession poured out and I stared deeply into his eyes.<br>"I have for awhile," he commented, rubbing my back.  
>"I mean, I have too, it's just," I stopped mid-sentence, taking in a shaky breath.<br>Taylor grabbed my shoulders and pushed me off his chest, to look me in the eyes. "What do you mean?" he asked, slightly confused at my tone.  
>I sat down on his bed and ran my fingers through my hair. "Taylor, I have liked you, since the first day I met you, and moving in with you was one of the greatest things that have happened to me. It's just…" I paused for a moment. <em>Great. Here come the waterworks.<em> "… I want to like you, but I cannot suffer the heartbreak I endured while I stayed with Ryan or when I thought I fell in love with John. I don't want to hurt again…" my voice trembled as I finished. The tears were coming now, blurring my vision.  
>"Hey now," he murmured, sitting down. His voice became really quiet. "Do you think I would do that to you?"<br>I couldn't answer. All the memories of John and Ryan came back. Tears came pouring down my pale cheeks. Tears were streaming down through my lips and into my mouth.  
>"Blaire, answer me," he commanded, his voice soft yet firm.<br>I just shook my head weakly and shrugged my shoulders.  
>"I would never do that to you. Ryan and John are missing out on one of the greatest girls I have ever met. Quite frankly, she is the greatest girl I have ever met," he said, caressing my cheek and wiping away my silent tears.<br>"Thanks Taylor."  
>"Aren't you tired?" he asked, taking a glance at the clock.<br>"Yeah."  
>"This may be forward," he started, but I cut him off.<br>"Honestly, in our friendship, nothing's forward," we both chuckled, all the tension and sorrow from before disappeared.  
>"You're a keeper, but back to what I was saying, do you want to sleep with me tonight?" he asked, then followed with a face palm.<br>"Why did you do that?" I questioned, pulling his hand away from his forehead so I could get a good look into his eyes. It was the only way I could tell what he was truly feeling.  
>"I regret asking," he spoke in a low mumble, like a self conscious teenage girl.<br>"Don't worry about it," I smiled gently. "I'd love to join you."  
>He grinned at me like a child and ran off to change. I pulled on a Brewer shirt and brewer shorts. Only fitting, since I was spending the night with a Brewer.<br>When I waddled back into his room, he was sitting, under the covers, reading, like a true intellectual.  
>"You're reading," I pointed out, crawling into his bed to lay next to him.<br>"Yeah, because I'm a genius," he joked, closing the book and placing it on the table next to him, directing all of his attention to me.  
>"Genius, I'll remember that when they ask me to describe you," I yawned, cuddling into his armpit. And then I remembered John. John. I couldn't miss him. I was with a man. A man who was going to treat me like a princess in a childhood fairy tale.. Squeezing my eyes shut, I took in the smell, his designer cologne, some of the lake air, and soon I settled down and drifted off into the welcoming arms of sleep.<p> 


	16. John and the Ring

**Month 8(part two); A promise**

**SWfangirl21 has done it again &she even finished this chapter for me. Pleeease check her out! :)))))**

It was the end of April and the Brewers were on a winning streak. Their away tour was a success and they were finally on their way home to finish up the last week. I couldn't believe how glad I was. Now that Taylor and I had worked things out, things were rolling much smoother. Taylor and I were in an official relationship and I was happier than the night I spent with John or the photo taking with Ryan. I finally had filled the void which had plagued me for years.  
>Also, at this point in time, I felt like I was going to pop. The weather was getting hotter and I was getting bigger, not a good combination. I was spending even more time inside, cleaning and watching TV. I had to make sure Taylor's apartment was up to par for him.<br>I finally heard it, a gently rap against the front door. I put down my book and pushed myself up from the chair and swung the door open.  
>"Hey dear," I greeted with a massive grin on my lips, hugging him. "Impressive job, kid."<br>"Thanks Blaire. You look, well, pregnant. As usual," he teased playfully.  
>"Just a few more weeks," I sighed, being reminded of John. Somewhere deep inside I knew I still missed him but whatever he wasn't able to be, Taylor was that and somehow more.<br>"Hey, can we talk about something that is weighing heavily on me?" he asked, clutching my arm carefully and leading me onto the couch.  
><em>Uh-oh.<em>  
>"Sure. What's up?" My heart was pounding in my chest.<br>"Well, the baby will grace us with his presence any day now and no matter what I will love and cherish who, as I do you. I want us to be a happy family... All three of us," he chose his words carefully as he grasped my hand, stroking the top of it.  
>"Who knew such a hard-ass baseball player could be so romantic. What are you getting at, Taylor?" I questioned, squeezing his hand in a comforting gesture of adoration for the man in front of me.<br>"I want to marry you."  
>I was speechless. There were no words to answer the question, all I could do was nod. I was excited, nervous, and sick, all at once. I was going to be a mom and a wife.<br>"Really? Is that a yes?" he inquired, staring into my eyes with a certain longing for a confirmation.  
>"Yes, oh my goodness, Taylor," I choked, tears pouring from my eyes.<br>"Oh, and I got this, with some help," he mentioned, digging around in his sweatpants pocket. Taylor pulled out a spectacular ring. "I got some help picking it out, but it's from Canada." Taylor smiled, placing it on my left ring finger.  
>"You make me so happy," I divulged, studying the ring before pulling Taylor into an embrace.<br>"You know, whatever happens, I will always love you and Leland, even if the DNA says he's not mine, but in my mind, he will always and forever be my son," he declared.  
>I was sobbing, but they were tears of pure joy. How did I manage to stumble across such a wonderful man who will love not only me but my accident?<br>"Hey now, kid," he whispered, reaching his hand up to wipe away my tears. "You and Leland will always be my family and first loves. Nothing can or will change that."  
>All I could do at this point was lean into him and breathe. "Taylor, how did I end up with such a good guy like you?"<br>"We didn't force anything and plus, you're the most wonderful girl in the world, so why wouldn't I long to be with you?" he asked, holding me tight to his chest and I clung to him like a lifeline. He was my safety, my protection... and my love.  
>"Fair enough, hey, I think I am going to bed, I'm really tired and I will be needing all the sleep I can get," I commented, looking deep into Taylors deep eyes. A smile gracing my lips, only for him.<br>"Blaire?" Taylor's voice was soft and patient. My eyebrows furrowed in contemplation.  
>"Yes?" I questioned with equal gentleness. Both of his hands were now wrapped securely around my own as his eyes bore into mine.<br>He breathed in deep as he began to ask his question, "Are you sure?" His voice wavered at the end and I could see the worry hidden in the depths of his eyes. My slim fingers squeezed tightly around his as I leaned forward to plant a gentle peck on the tip of his nose.  
>"Taylor, listen to the words that I say next, yes?" I inquired keeping my gaze firm with his. He nodded and I took in a deep breath to continue, "I have never been more sure in my whole life. I have never craved the love and adoration of someone like this before. You are everything I need in this life that keeps me breathing, Taylor. I will stay by your side until my dying breath and that, is a promise." Tears welled up in his eyes and I could feel my own rise in my chest. A sob of joy that I forced myself to contain.<br>This was it. This was the rest of my life standing right in front of me and I couldn't contain the joy that was bubbling up in my heart. I wanted to run and scream to the world, to share the happiness that was capturing me and sweeping me off my feet. Taylor leaned over to rest his forehead against mine and he wrapped his arms securely around my waist. I was breathing in his every scent and memorizing everything about him.  
>"We should go get ready for bed. I'm exhausted..." Taylor mumbled against my lips. I merely nodded and felt the warmth of his body slip away from mine as he left the room to change and I shuddered from the lack of contact.<br>I slipped into a tank top and shorts and sprawled across the bed and stared up at the ceiling. I watched the fan spin round and round as images of the past months flashed through my mind. My stomach flipped as I was overwhelmed with happiness. This was actually happening. I was going to be with the man of my dreams, the man I was deeply and hopelessly in love with... forever.  
>When I glanced up and found Taylor staring at me a bright smile on his face. I raised my eyebrow and raised myself up so I was currently facing him while leaning on my lower arms for support.<br>"What?" I requested smirking up at him. He floated across the floor right to me and crawled onto the bad. His arm rested across my belly and his head was tucked by my side, his legs intertwined with mine. My fingers ran through his hair soothingly as he planted a gentle kiss on my belly.  
>"I want to stay like this forever..." he mumbled against my baby bump. I shivered at the touch of his lips and weakly nodded.<br>"I just pray I never wake from this beautiful dream," I claimed shyly. Minutes passed and Taylors breathing eased as he fell into a blissful night's sleep and I was right after him, smiling as I drifted into my dreams.

The next day I woke with Taylor's arms wrapped securely around me and couldn't help but beam down at him. The smile reached my squinted eyes and my heart fluttered at yesterday's events. How could life be any more perfect? I lifted Taylor's arms off from me and cautiously raised myself off of the bed. I waddled to the bathroom to take a calming warm shower.  
>The water caressed my skin as it ran down my body and I revered the time I had. After I dried off I slipped into a t-shirt and jeans and examined myself in the mirror. Not to bad... A little mascara and I'd be good to go to the stadium with Taylor!<br>I slipped into the kitchen and poured myself a bowl of cereal as I skimmed the newspaper. _Nothing interesting, like always._ I scooped up a spoonful of lucky charms into my mouth and chewed. Hands started to rub my shoulders and I jumped slightly as I heard Taylor chuckle behind me. I spun around and smacked him playfully on the shoulder as I swallowed the cereal down. He raised his hands in surrender and kissed my cheek.  
>"Ready to go?" He asked as he grabbed a power bar from the cabinet. I slurped down the milk at the bottom of my bowl and placed it in the sink. I slipped over and wrapped my arms around his as we traveled down to the car. The ride there was calm and serene. We listened to old jazz music and attempted to sing along but sounded similar to dying cows.<br>We arrived at the stadium and raced to the locker room. We were laughing about inside jokes all the way there and life couldn't have been any more wonderful. All the boys greeted us as we strolled in and welcomed us warmly. I traveled out to the field and spun around feeling the breeze on my face. The pregnancy was making me sweat and it the cool air felt nice.  
>"Blaire?" a quiet voice broke through my mind and I stopped spinning and concentrated my focus on the new addition. I send a gently smile at John, almost as not to be rude. There was no longer a flutter in my stomach from the longing looks John sent my way. I found that I no longer ached to be at his side and it felt like a great weight was lifted off my shoulders and I was enjoying every second of it.<br>"John," I sighed his name and a hopeful look lifted to his face, "We need to talk..." and just like that, the hope from his face vanished. His gaze fell to the ground and I stepped towards him.  
>"I miss you. You meant the world to me Blaire," he whispered and I wasn't sure if he really wanted me to hear. A loud sigh escaped my lips and it came out more harsh than I wanted it to apparently because I could instantly see the hurt on his face. I decided the best way to break it to him was to just come and strong and say it. I lifted my left hand discreetly and showed him the small yet gorgeous ring adoring my finger. His eyes widened and his mouth hung open. I was about to speak when I realized that a serious conversation was probably not the best at this moment in time.<br>I settled with sending him a quirky smile and teasing him, "Better close your mouth or a bird will nest in it." He immediately closed it and pulled me in for a gentle hug.  
>"I'm happy for you... know that," and just like that he disappeared to practice for the upcoming game. I merely stared at the empty space he left behind.<br>I felt Taylor's hand grab my shoulder but he didn't face me. "What was that?" I could hear the confusion and slight concern in his voice. I spun on my heel and faced him directly. He thought I was going to leave him for John. Quickly I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him as close to me as possible. He tentatively wrapped his arms around my waist but after a few seconds his grip tightened and he buried his head in my hair.  
>"I finally left the past behind me.." I murmured. "My life is forever yours..." and it's as if the world<br>went away.


End file.
